Grandma recently had the unfortunate misfortune of innocently sitting down on the bed and leaning back onto the baby-proof padded foam wall lined with poke-a-dots. She didn’t notice the wad of chewing gum blending into the background until she sat up and felt the unmistakable, sticky, cinnamon scented goop stuck on a very prominent part of her recently cut and straightened hair.
It was easy enough to remove, using the old peanut butter and fine-tooth comb trick. But Who, but who, would have carelessly and irresponsibly stuck gum to the headboard of a bed? Let’s examine possible suspects:
- Bella: She knows what gum is, can identify and say the word gum, but is not know to try to chew it. Culpability Probability? slim-to-none
- Brooks: He’s been know to slip gum from mommy’s “electronic’s box” (box where she keeps her remote controls, phones, camera, and baby monitor, oh, and also gum – all in one place so she can reach it while holding two squirmy 18 month olds), but Brooks is not know to actually spit the gum out, much less stick it to the wall. Culpability Probability? possible, but not likely
- Mica: She’s always getting into mommy’s gum but from a young age has always been responsible; spitting it out when done and putting it in the trash can. Culpability Probability? doubtful she’s responsible
- Hope: Totally something she would do. Only one problem: Although Hope has no problem chowing down on super-spicy Mexican food, she can’t handle mint or cinnamon flavored anything, the taste being too strong. And since the gum was not fruity flavored…Culpability Probability? not completely outside the realm of possibility, but almost.
- Amor: As an adult, you’d think he’d know better. Well, let’s just say, I’ve had a similar issue on his side of the bed. Problem is, he hasn’t been near the bed recently. Therefore, Culpability Probability? maybe 1% chance it was him
- Mommy Belle: The mom who religiously insists on good oral hygiene, makes sure all kids brush well twice a day, has even written a song and blog post about teeth, but who also has a not-so-healthy habit of sneaking a snack (night medicine triggers huger) after finally getting the twins to sleep but then is too afraid of waking them to actually get up to re-brush teeth, so she chews xylitol-laced gum to ease her conscience but still too worried about waking two sleeping toddlers to throw the chewed gum away, sticks it to an innocuous place until morning when she gets a chance to clean it up, but may have forgotten this time…Culpability Probability? hummm, you know what, it was probably Mr. Nobody.
Double Talk Quote: “You’re going to grow up to be an awesome person!” – Me to Mica “Like you!” – Mica to me (be still my heart!)
Verse: “ Take my instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her.” Proverbs 8:10-11
Term that has Earned its meaning: sticky situation
Relatable Lyrics: “Weird Al” Yankovic – First World Problems
“Uh, I had to buy something I didn’t even need just
so I could qualify for free shipping on Amazon”