Archive for May, 2015

Stuck In A Rut

brooks climbing - holding on for dear life

Stuck, stuck, stuck

I’m stuck in a rut.

I have between 10-14 articles that I’ve started writing and haven’t finished.

Every room in my house has been turned upside down and so much “cleaned” organized, sanitized or rearranged, almost everything interrupted, unfinished, and now in disarray.

I haven’t backed up my photographs or music.

I haven’t been reading my favorite blogs or answering my phone and I’m behind on checking my email.  I’ve been steering toward isolation, that I know that’s not the answer.

And these babies won’t sleep on their own.  Maybe that’s an issue.  Maybe.

And Tia, oh Tia, acting like an unruly teenager. I’m tired of making excuses to tell my innocent 6-year-old niece when she asks: “Where’s my daddy?” (jail) “Where’s my mommy?” (out partying somewhere). [insert heart break here]

Have tons of ideas. Ideas for the twins first birthday party, ideas for our summer, ideas for life, and ideas for this and ideas for that, I’m full of ideas that I can’t put together or pull off because, well…

I’m stuck.  I’m in a rut.

I’ve got to get myself together because time (nor kids) wait for no mom.

(Twins 11 months)

Double Talk Quote:  “You see! This is why I keep a pair of scissors in every room of the house (and a set in the car)!” – me

Bible Verse: Psalm 27:5 “For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock.”

Term that has Lost its meaning: follow through

Relatable Lyrics: “Could we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?  I really use a wish right now.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7WwQXbW_pc 

stuck butt

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Lies

Dandylion

“How long will it be before you screw these kids up?”  There are so many ways that could happen.  “You’re walking on thin ice.”  I have this uneasy feeling I can’t shake.  “Go ahead, celebrate mother’s day; this year.  You’ve been a good mom so far, but really, how long can you keep it up?”  I feel tired.  So tired.

This is Satan beating up on me.  Preying on my insecurities.  He’s trying to make me believe that I am doomed to fail.

Sometimes, particularly when you have a mood disorder, or even when you’re just feeling weak, it’s hard to fight these lies.

I know I won’t be a perfect parent.  (I haven’t been).  It’s impossible.  I have make mistakes and I will make more.  There will be times that I will be a poor example.  My prayer is that those times will be few and far between and that, as God uses those moments to teach me, my children will learn too.

(May 12, 2015 –  twins 10 months)

Double Talk Quote: “Sometimes promises are like plans, they don’t work out, so they change.” – Oh Amor

Bible Verse: “The devil… is a liar and the father of lies.”  John 8:44

Term that has Lost its meaning: perfect

Relatable Lyrics: “Lies” by Keith Green https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71q1GHq5t-I

Twins’ “To Do” List

Twins to do - main picture

  1. Wake up
  2. Pitch fit if not on a boob
  3. Eat
  4. Play peacefully in safe play area for 6 1/2 minutes
  5. Poop
  6. Object to diaper change
  7. Find something tiny on the floor to put in our mouths
  8. Plan our escape route
  9. Escape safe play area
  10. Get caught,reengage in active play with mommy
  11. Play peacefully for 1 1/2 minutes
  12. Pull all books of shelf
  13. Crawl on top of mommy
  14. Crawl on top of each other
  15. Fight over the string on mommy’s shirt
  16. Climb mommy’s leg until she picks us up
  17. Stage a protest when mommy uses the word “Nap”
  18. Eat again
  19. Sleep again

There:  that should take us to 8:30 am

Bella Playing contently

  Bella Playing contently

"I don't need a diaper change" Brooks look

  “I don’t need a diaper change” Brooks look

Escape attempt twarted

  Escape attempt twarted

Ohhh, cool string!

  Ohhh, cool string!

Climbing Mommy

  Climbing Mommy

Tuckered out after a busy morning

Tuckered out after a busy morning

Double Talk Quote: “Umm Umm Banangas” – Sissy Bella to Brother Brooks

Bible Verse: “For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.” Hebrews 10:36

Term that has Lost its meaning: schedule

Relatable Lyrics:  “I Think We’re Alone Now” by James & The Shondells – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6IYJ4Q1FZQ (“Children behave” that’s what they say when we’re together)

(Twins 10 months)

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