Think: "You think you can, You think you can, You think you can" & one day say: "You thought you could, You said you could, You knew you could" & thus, at least: you thought you did.

Archive for April, 2015

All Worth More

mommy babywearing twins

It was 6:00 pm.  Amor had gone to his church group.  Grandma was not here yet.  I was alone with a hungry 6-year-old and two overly-tired, grumpy 8 month old twins.  It had been a stressful day, week, month, year.   I set the complaining babies in their high chairs with Cheerios on their trays and rapidly prepared dinner for Mica and myself.  As Mica ate, I spoon-fed the babies their pureed dinner.  By the time they were finished, they were a mess.  I thought back, “When was the last time they had a bath?  I can’t remember.  That means it was too long ago.”

But to go about bathing them one by one without help would be challenging, especially considering their moods.  I had a baby jumper that can be hung from a door seal, so I tried to put Bella in that, but she was not having it!  So I put her aboard the “mommy train” (meaning I tied her up with a baby carrier to my back) and gave Brooks a bath.  Just as I was finishing up with him, the door-bell rang.

Oh, I forgot I was selling the baby swing that they had outgrown on Craigslist.  It was getting closer to 7pm, the time the mommy buyer was supposed to arrive, she must be early.  Still wearing Bella, I put a naked and oppositional Brooks down in the crib.  I opened the door, but to my surprise, it was a little boy, fundraising.  I hurriedly looked for a dollar for the semi-worthy cause.  “We accept checks, too” the kid called from the doorway.  “I’m sorry, I don’t have the time (or the money, I thought to myself) to find a checkbook and write you one of those,” I stated above the sounds of babies fussing.

After that, I quickly dressed Brooks and took Bella off my back.  Grandma came but hadn’t eaten dinner yet.  So I strapped Brooks on my back, and checked the weather so Mica could pick out her clothes for the next day.  I strapped Bella to the bath seat just in time to hear, “Ding Dong.”

“Can you give me a hand?”  I asked Grandma.  “I just need you to sit in the bathroom with Bella for a minute.”  I sold the swing and returned to wash Bella.  Then I got her ready for bed and took Brooks off my back.  As I tandem nursed the twins, Mica read her library book to me.  Bella fell asleep but Brooks was still wide awake.  I sent Mica to brush her teeth, put BellaBoo down in her crib and put Brooks in an exersaucer in the kitchen, so I could clean up from their dinner.  To keep him calm, I put a serving of cheerios there for him.

I swept the floor, wiped the counters and high chairs and washed the dishes, all the while, swiping bites here and there from my now-cold plate of food that had gone uneaten during dinner time.

I was wiped out and still had to put Mica to bed.  I was almost finished cleaning when Brooksies started making the manly grunting sound he makes when he wants my attention.  “What is it, Baby?”  I asked tenderly.  He put his little hands together, making the sign for “more.”  He’d never done that before.  Usually, he would bang his arms and fuss.  I looked down and he was out of Cheerios.  “Do you want MORE?” I asked, making the sign with my own hands.

The biggest smile lit up his face.  Again, he signed “More!”  He looked so proud of himself.  My heart filled with joy over something so small and yet so significant to me.  He was so happy to show me what he’d learned!  He was so thrilled that I understood him!

That was such a stressful night, day, week, month, year.  Since then, I’ve become much more adept at getting through meals and bath time alone.  But it’s those tiny moments that makes being a mommy worth it!  “More” was totally worth it!

Double Talk Quote:  “Hong on! I mean Hang in! I mean…” car swerves – Grandma (quote from my childhood when she had 3 little ones and a severe case of Mommy Brain)

Bible Verse: “Beware that you don’t look down on any of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels are always in the presence of my heavenly Father.”  Matthew 18:10 

Word that has Lost its meaning:  Necklace (replace with “that really cool toy that mommy’s wearing around her neck that I MUST grab and pull and chew.”)

Relatable Lyrics: “Hold on, I’m Coming” by Sam & Dave

babywearing brooks Micaela Bella

Category:

Life With Twins, Uncategorized

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The Writing Job

the writing job mommy writing

I recently applied for a writing job for an online Christian website.  I didn’t get it.  One possible reason why is that my “résumé” was a bit unconventional, due to a large gap in work history (though I still contend that Mommying is the most important job in the world).  Another may be that I didn’t conform my writing samples to the “Lists” for which the site is famous (as are many sites these days, for example “7 steps to a closer walk with God”).  Maybe my formatting was off or my spelling or grammar was incorrect.  Perhaps they were looking for someone more qualified, more experienced, more confident, more humble, more righteous, or more something.  Whatever the reason, it wasn’t meant to be.  But this one thing I know, I must write.

The following are my answers, in conversational form, to the questions from the application:

“Ten years ago, God spoke to me. He told me in no uncertain terms to write. Write. Write what? What does a 22 year old college student have to write about? I didn’t have an answer for that. I do now.

Since that time, I have struggled with Bipolar disorder, addiction, marital conflict, motherhood, and feeling lost in life. I have also been delivered, healed and transformed. Satan has attacked me countless times. He is not only betting against me, he’s actively seeking to destroy me! I know this from scripture AND I know this from the past (I will write “Testimonies” one day). God has called me to do something for Him and Satan has tried all my life to stop this from happening. The irony is, the harder he tries, the more God overcomes and the more testimonies I get.

So, to answer the first question: Why am I the person for this position? Honestly, I don’t know that I am. That’s something that would need to be revealed by God, to the person reading this. What I do know, however, is that I am qualified, experienced, passionate, and anointed to do this. If this is the site for which God wants me to write, I am ready, willing, and able.

What is my favorite subject to write about? I have a blog where I write from a Christian mom’s perspective about God, life, family, and struggles with mental illness. Although I rarely begin writing an article with a particular category in mind, I usually find that they fall into several distinct sections:

  • Bipolar Mommy: I write about my struggle with Bipolar disorder and how it affects my life and those around me.
  • Cultural Differences: My husband and his family are from Mexico and my brother-in-law and his folks are from Israel. Sometimes this leads to conflict but is usually more comedic in nature.
  • Instructions Included: This is practical parenting advice from a mom/psychologist who’s been there and has some ideas that might work for others.
  • Life with Twins: These are mostly stories about, well, life with infant twins.
  • Psych Tips: These articles are a mix of advice on using a combination of basic psychology and the Word of God to help with life struggles.
  • Drum Roll Please: God has graced everyone with a different sense of humor. Sometimes mine pops through in these articles.”

I followed up by giving them a link to my blog, sending 3 writing samples and my résumé (a boring one, not the fun mommy one (https://theearthquakers.wordpress.com/2015/04/04/mommy-resume/).

Although I’m not writing for the site now, I know I’m writing for God because no matter how many readers or supporters or followers I have (or don’t have), it doesn’t mean a thing if He’s not in it.

Double Talk Quote: On a snow day: “That silly school board, they always wait until the last minute to cancel school. – Me    Reply: “It’s b/c they’re board” – Mica (funny, funny girl)

Bible Verse: Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope”

Term that has Lost its meaning: rejected

Relatable Lyrics: “Sea of Faces” by Kutless https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kEZ1mh2jzg (I am not just one of a million faces)

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Life With Twins, Uncategorized

Tagged with:

Hope’s Up

pretty nice fountain downtown hopes up

Standing up for yourself when in an unhealthy relationship is not easy, I know.  I was in an abusive relationship long ago.  I didn’t have children with this man and yet, it was still almost impossible for me to escape.  He had systematically stripped me of my independence and identity.  It took a revelation from God for me to realize how bad it had gotten.  “This is my daughter he is hurting… how would you feel if someone was hurting your child that way?”  That is what he revealed one terrible night during an out-of-body experience, mid-beating.

My sister-in-law, “Tia” and niece, “Hope” live with us now.  I am very proud of Tia for having the strength to finally walk away from domestic violence, infidelity, and abuse.  Hope deserves a better environment.  Tia deserves to be treated with love and respect.

It makes our house a little tight again, but love is that way, tight.

Alarming Statistic:

1 in 4:  The number of women who will be victims of severe violence by an intimate partner in their lifetimes.

Read more here:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/23/domestic-violence-statistics_n_5959776.html

~This MUST change~

Double Talk Quote: “When my mommy and daddy are fighting, I tell them to treat other people the way they want to be treated.” – Hope (wisdom of a child)

Bible Verse: 1 Corinthians 13:4-6  “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;  it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”

Term that has Lost its meaning: another chance

Relatable Lyrics:  “This is the Last Time” by Fuel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWRDCK-Ga7M

Category:

Uncategorized

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The Gerbil and The Giraffe

Twins swing Bella Brooks Gerbil Giraffe

In the great plains of the treacherous Sarifihari region of the Mofus
Mountains, during the trysoic era, there lived a multitude of animals
in need of food and shelter.  During this trying time, there was a
great drought and all the animals began urgently seeking water.  Well,
rumors of a great watering hole began to circulate and came upon the
ears of a very thirsty Gerbil.  “But how do I get to this Special
Spring?” he asked inquisitively to everyone he came across. An
elephant triumphed loudly, “Follow me!” as he boisterously ramped
through the jungle terrain.  The gerbil tried to keep up, but quickly
fell behind, as his little legs were too small to keep pace with the
elephant.  Desperate, the gerbil cried out to God, “Please Lord, help
me find the water.”

Meanwhile, news of the special spring had reached the perky ears of a
very parched giraffe.  The giraffe also seeked direction and soon
learned of the water’s location.  In his desperate pursuit, however,
the giraffe found it difficult to find his footing, as the ground was
quite uneven and littered with tiny pebbles that kept impeding his
ability to move forward.  “Why don’t you swing through the trees like
me?” asked a monkey as he flew by overhead.  The giraffe pondered the
idea but couldn’t figure out how to do that.  Desperate, the giraffe
cried out to God, “Please Lord, help me get to the water.”

As it happened, at that very moment, the gerbil just happened to be
wondering by and heard the giraffe’s prayer.  He approached the
giraffe and said, “I too, am thirsty and desperate to find the Special
Spring.”  “I know where it is, I can even see it above the trees.  I
just can’t maneuver through the forest.”  It was at that moment that
the gerbil had an epiphany.  “Let’s help each other,” he said.  “You
tell me which way to go and I’ll clear the path for you.  We’ll get
there together.”  And so they did.

Talking Points:
–       Use your unique abilities to help others
–       Connect with others who are different than you
–       Ask for directions
–       Tune out unmeaningful or irrelevant advice
–       Seek God with all your heart, tell others  so they can help you in
your journey (iron sharpens iron)
–       God uses other people to answer prayer
–       Be a blessing and be blessed
–       Work together as a team

Category:

And the moral of the story is..., Instructions Included, Life With Twins

Mommy Résumé

one of the best photos of all time

 Mommy Belle

321 WhitsEnd Lane, Bellesboro, Some State, USA 54321          SuperMommyOfTwins@gmail.com

Objective:  Explaining (in a tip-of-the-iceburg sort of way) what “Stay At Home Moms” do all day

Summery:

  • Expert off-spring maker & quality care provider with 7 years of extensive, expensive, and intensive mommying experience.
  • Dedicated wife and mother to 3 awesome children: one 7 year old daughter and a set of 8 month old boy/girl twins.  Aunt to two superkids: one 5 years old, and one 7 months.
  • Proven ability to manage multiple projects while (almost always) meeting challenging deadlines, such as dinner, church and most appointments.
  • Extensive involvement in all levels of child-rearing up to 7 years old.

Education:

– Valedictorian of High School (granted, there were a grand total of 12 seniors, but still…)

– Associate in Arts in Criminal Justice (a degree I’m proud to mention, although I’ve never been on the right or wrong side of the law)

– BS in Psychology (which, in my experience, is what most psychologists spew)

Experience & Skills:

  • Gourmet Chef (but some experience with short order cooking):  Ability to use multiple pots and pans, microwave and oven while simultaneously wearing a baby and ensuring the kitchen does not catch on fire or end up looking like a disaster by the time I am completed.
  • Janitor:  Temporary success from time-to-time completing never-ending cycles of laundry, cleaning floors, sorting and sanitizing toys, and dusting at least once per year.
  • Doctor:  No med school but I know how to fix the boo boos and kiss it all better.
  • Psychiatrist:  I manage my own Bipolar disorder, toggle among my 6 current psychiatric medications depending on current needs.
  • Child Psychologist:  Proven success manipulating motivating children to behave, particularly when others aren’t looking.
  • Teacher:  Have formed the enviable talent of explaining in long, drawn-out detail, extremely monotonous and simple things.
  • Scientist:  Extensive experimenting experience.  Most notably, using vinegar and baking soda for cleaning (and getting the kids involved in scrubbing when they hear “the sound of clean.”)
  • Preacher:  less of a “Brimstone and Fire” type and more of the “What Would Jesus do?” kind.  Relationship building, not religion teaching.
  • Investigator:  Sometimes, just once in a while, it is too quiet, and there is trouble amiss.
  • Police Officer, Judge, and Corrections Officer, I protect & serve and issue verdicts to end the disputes, and execute the sentences (usually time outs).
  • Professional Item Locator:  I know where any piece of any game is, at any given time.  I have the ability to subconsciously make a mental note when I see something out of place and recall its location when someone asks for it later.
  • Organization Specialist:  Use this must-have skill that all moms of multiples must acquire in order to simply survive.
  • Administrator and Administrative Assistant, I schedule and keep the appointments and make the coffee.
  • Event Planner:  How many birthdays and anniversaries there are every year?  In a family this large, more than one.  I handle all that with ease.
  • Author and Editor:  Have narrated and rewritten countless stories I have learned or made up, and continually recount events from my own life adding questions and morals.  Also must make time to write prayer journals and in baby books, so as to never forget.  Blog to express feelings and connect with others.
  • Computer and Electronics and Washing Machine Repair Person:  I can turn the computer off and back on again.  I can install a light bulb without getting shocked.  I can kick the machine ’til it works.  And that’s how that works.
  • Plumber:  Own plunger too.  And a homemade sink snake.  And a pipe wrench just in case.  I didn’t have fancy insulation, so I duct taped old towels to the water heater to save money.
  • Chief Fiscal Manager:  The bills get paid and the buck stops here.
  • Risk Examiner Specialist:  To determine how much insurance we need, usually just a helmet.
  • Singer / Songwriter: Children must fall asleep somehow / My children spark my inspiration (although I need a collaborator since I have lyrics but can’t write the music, I hear it in my head).
  • Actor / Entertainer:  Most of the time, I don’t feel like doing it, but it must be done so I slap on a smile and enthusiastically jump in and do what needs to be done.
  • Drill Sargent:  Use to combat defiance during periods of homework or chores – a last resort strategy.
  • Chauffeur:  Drive everyone everywhere, install all car seats correctly.
  • Personal Shopper:  Professional thrifter.  Main purchaser of things needed for self – times shopper for everyone else in the family.

Availability:

Available to work 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th shifts, capable of holding one baby and wearing the other during bathroom breaks.  On call during all other hours of the day/night.  Except when expected to service husband.

Compensation Expectations:  Far above rubies

(March 14, 2015 –  twins 8 months)

Double Talk Quote: “It must be nice to just stay at home all day” – said the idiot  “Yes, I love laying around eating bon-bons and watching Judge Judy while the kids feed, teach, and love themselves and the house magically becomes clean.” – replied the smarty-pants stay-at-home-mom.

Bible Verse: Proverbs 31:10-31 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies...”

Term that has Lost its meaning: career move

Relatable Lyrics: “The Mom Song” by Go Fish https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6nuB37MHko – This is a MUST LISTEN if you are a mom!

2015-03-20 kids earthquakers  earthquakers twins asher

Cat in the Hat 2015-04-02 Mommy resume

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Drum Roll Please, Life With Twins, Uncategorized

“Nothing”

Nothing
I’m stuck in myself way deep down inside

And only I know all these things that I hide

I want to be better and I swear that I try

And I keep right on failing and I don’t know why

I say I’m okay, look you straight in the eye

And you always believe though you know it’s a lie

I want to know why my desires won’t die

And my faith won’t suffice, why I can’t even cry

I’m on top of the world, I float and I fly

And I sink and I fall and I try to deny

The things that I feel when I am so high

So that when I fall again, I won’t imply

That I still feel nothing way deep down inside

And no one else sees the nothing I hide.

(October 12, 2002)

Category:

Bipolar Mommy

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