Archive for February, 2015

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

EarthQuakers Twins and Asher

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans”

My sister, Sarah and her husband Joe have been living with us for about 8 months. We were both at the end of our pregnancies when they moved in and we’ve enjoyed the support of being moms together for about 6 months. I feel that having her around has been beneficial to me and my children, Mica, Brooks, and Bella. I know it was helpful to her as well to have support for herself and her newborn son, Asher.

Once, my breast milk supply dropped and she graciously pumped extra (as did “Sharin”, a close friend of ours) to help me minimize the amount of formula I had to supplement while I worked to get my supply back up. Another time, she got food poisoning and had to go to the ER. In that case, I did the sharing and got to help take care of my sweet nephew. I think for her, as a new mom, it was nice to have back up. As for me, as a second (and third)-time mom, I would have been bursting with confidence, except for the fact that having twins is a complete game-changer and it took some time for me to find my bearings. So it was a definite plus just feeling like there was an extra person I could count on.

I knew the day would come when they would leave. I knew it would be soon. They told us when they moved in that it would be short-term. I just didn’t expect them to move so far away. See, we had a plan. My family is super close (at least I’d like to think that). So we all decided that grandma, and each sibling and their clan, would move close to one another. Our kids could grow up close to each other and we’d have, kind of a family community. We had even been looking for land together.

Then Joe was offered a job that was located six hours away. The lucrative benefits it offered were irresistible. It is an amazing opportunity for him to advance in his career.

I have a prayer list. I have had one for years and it includes pretty much everyone I know and lists specific areas of concern for their lives. One of my prayers for Joe is that he would find a good job that he enjoys. God is definitely doing a work in their family!

While I am excited for them, I feel like a piece of my heart is about to move two states away. I love Sarah so much. I will miss the way she makes me laugh every day and the silly ideas we come up with. I love having theoretical debates with Joe, especially when we agree about something but one of us plays “devil’s advocate” and the discussion goes on and on just for fun. I will miss his sarcastic sense of humor. But most of all, I will miss watching baby Asher grow and learn and play with my little ones. Now, I know they aren’t moving to the moon, but that doesn’t negate the fact that I will miss them dearly.

I pray for blessings, protection, and salvation over them as they move and for supernatural favor in all they put their hands to do.

I love you Sarah, Joe, and Asher.

PS: Sarah, My only demand respectful request is that you to send me a daily email with a picture attached!

Double Talk Quote: “It shouldn’t be hard to read a map.” – Sarah (who is notorious for being directionally challenged)

Verse: Deuteronomy 28:2-3 “All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God: You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.”

Word that has Lost its meaning: plan

Relatable Lyrics: David Bowie “Changes” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHkrpKYehcI

2/23/15 (The EarthQuakers are 7 months old)

Sarah and Asher

babies meal 1

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Still Holding On

Hold On

As of today, I haven’t had a drink in three years. A few months back, I wrote a piece called “Holding On” (https://theearthquakers.wordpress.com/2014/11/16/holding-on/) in which I allude to a dark moment when I was tempted to self-medicate with alcohol. In the post, I encourage myself by thinking of my children. I also recount the impressive efforts of my father, who struggled with Bipolar Disorder and substance abuse issues. My dad quit all drugs and alcohol for 10 years. He eventually died from a prescription drug overdose, but during my most vulnerable childhood years, he was there for me. I want to be there for my family for the rest of my life, not just until my oldest turns 14.

It is terrifying to me to think about the parallels between my life and my fathers. We are on the same wave-lengths in so many areas. There are key differences, of course, that make me feel like I have a chance at survival, the main things being awareness and acceptance. I am aware and accept that I have bipolar disorder. I am aware and accept that some of the unusual thoughts I think could be paranoid. I am aware and accept that I am capable of controlling my thoughts and thus my behaviors. I am aware and accept that I need treatment.

Over the past few months, I’ve had a few of those dark moments mostly due to intense marital conflict and the stress that comes from being mostly manic and feeling misunderstood. As this monumental day approached, whenever I felt like giving into temptation, I motivated myself, “I’m almost there! I’ve almost made it to the 3 year mark. I can do it. Just hold on.”

This morning when I woke up, though I didn’t have the urge to drink, I felt a shift in my thinking occur. What will I say to myself the next time I am tempted?

This afternoon I just happened to need something from the attic for the babies. I had to move a few items to get to it. Out of the corner of my eye, I spied one of my old storage boxes with a paper that had my sister, Starla’s handwriting on it. Maybe a sweet or silly note from a few years back? Though the babies were fussy and I had so much work to do, I just had to take a moment to check it out. It just turned out to be some of her old school stuff, but right under it was this collage that my dad had made and written on. So simple yet so fitting. Fitting and meaningful to me at this exact moment in my life.
Double Talk Quote: Sarah’s husband’s family enters the residence puts food on the counter and says, “Well, we’ve got to run.” And exit. My other brother-in-law, Jeff says to his wife (sister Starla), “Wow, they know how to get in and out.” – implying that the two of them get stuck!

Verse: James 1:14 “but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.”

Word that has Lost its meaning: odd coincidence, replace with “G-odd” coincidence

Relatable Lyrics: “Hold On” by Twila Paris https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jts9mmDXPCg

Why I Choose To No Longer Wear Leggings

leggings

I’ve decided that as a good, clean, pious, woman of high moral fortitude, I will never wear leggings, as they may entice men, particularly my husband, to think lustful thoughts about me.
In the same spirit, I have disposed of all my lipstick and mascara in an effort to not draw attention to my lip and eye regions, as I have been told, in the past that I have nice nice eyes and sexy lips. Actually, I am currently looking for a great online website that sells burqas (full face veils) at a decent price.

I am fully aware that wearing jeans is out too, since the style is to wear them skinny and therefore since they are the same style as leggings, they may make my legs look like they are the shape of legs, therefore making men think of legs, and therefore automatically they will, for sure, think of sex. Jeans that are not shaped like legs are automatically associated with sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll and I don’t want to be associated with such hippie nonsense.
Skirts are a no-no. A man might tie a mirror to his shoe to see what’s up under there and since I no longer wear leggings, he might get an eye-full!

I know some men have feet fetishes so flip-flops are out, just in case I run across a man with such sexual proclivities. I would hate to think my toes may be a stumbling block to anyone with this sexual affliction.

On the same note, I was thinking, since hands are often used during the very act of sex itself that I should wear gloves too, lest a man see them and have immoral imaginations. However, gloves cling to hands and in essence do for fingers what leggings do for legs. Therefore, I think going with mittens would be a wiser, more modest approach.

Many men think long hair is sexy. Then again, others think short hair is sexier, so I will start braiding my hair in pigtails to make sure I look like Laura Ingalls from “Little House on the Prairie.” But don’t be alarmed, I will still cover my head so that potential pedophiles won’t be tempted either.

Even though leggings would be the most convenient, affordable and comfortable clothing I could possibly wear, seeing as I recently gave birth to twins and gained 768 lbs during my pregnancy and going out and purchasing a new wardrobe every time I lose a few pounds is not feasible, I refuse to wear them.

So here’s the conundrum: what to wear. Earlier in this article I mentioned looking for inexpensive veils. You see, I tried cutting out the netting from one of Bella’s dresses and wrapping it around my head, but the tulle was white and my eyes are green so they weren’t very well hidden. To cover my body, I thought about cutting some holes in a sheet but that’s what the puritans used to do when they would have sex on their wedding nights. Perhaps I can visit a few thrift stores in search of a few gently used choir robes and that should solve all my problems. In the meantime, I had the idea to disassemble my sister Sarah’s goldfish catching net and sew it to the hooded portion of my Snuggie.

Surely will this not only ward off any tempting thoughts by the men I come across, this will definitely benefit me, especially when I visit the beach or my local water park. Normally, when I’m wearing a bikini, I have to apply sunblock on an hourly basis, since my fair skin burns easily. Now, I won’t have to worry about that anymore.

It is not at all insulting to men in general to imply that it is impossible for them to control their own thoughts. It is also simply not possible that our society may present and promote sex in a way that encourages men to think perverse thoughts. I will make sure that I never go to Africa because I’m sure all those men down there are thinking dirty, filthy thoughts about the topless African women who walk around their un-airconditioned huts feeding their babies from their naked breasts.

Finally, there is surely nothing more important that I should be doing right now, so it’s good that I took the time to write about this very serious issue.

 

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