Archive for July, 2016

Believing for the Best in You

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Dear Husband,  

When you’re struggling, when you need a friend, when you are at an impasse and don’t know what to do;

When we can’t seem to come to an agreement, when I don’t understand your point of view, and you can’t see mine;

I don’t stop caring.  I’m believing in something.  I’m believing for the best in you.

 

Dear Children,

When you make mistakes, when you behave inappropriately or do the wrong thing, even when I discipline you, even when you think I’m disappointed in you;

Believe me, I’m seeing something.  I’m seeing growth.  I’m believing for the best in you.

 

Dear Mother,

When you feel alone, when you feel run down, when you’re hesitant to change, yet ready to move forward; I’ll be your cheerleader.  I’ll be your backup.  I’m believing for the best in you.  

 

Dear Sisters,

When we’re far apart, When we feel like we can’t relate, I have faith in our relationships; I’ll never doubt us.  I’m believing for the best in you.

 

Dear Brothers,

When we’re disconnected, when we have failures to communicate or forgive or see eye-to-eye, it’s okay, we’ll make it through; I’ll never stop having hope for reconciliation.   If you get weary, I’ll keep the faith for you.  I’m believing for the best in you.

 

Dear Friend,

When your life seems to be falling apart around you; When you feel like you have let me down; When I try to help but I’m not sure my efforts do any good; I won’t stop trying.  I’m believing for the best in you.

 

Dear Stranger,

When you need a helping hand; when a handout is not what you need, but a hand up, I won’t look down on you.  I won’t judge you for your past.  I won’t make assumptions about your situation.  I’m believing for the best in you.

 

Dear Self,

When I start dwelling over failures, when I judge myself by my past mistakes, I will stop.  I will forgive.  I will do better.  I will look at you the way God does.  He’s believing for the best in you.  

 

Double Talk Quote: two days before summer camp, Me to Mica: “So…Are you excited?”  Mica (enthusiastically):  “Um-hum!” (pause) “About what?”  (I guess she’s just excited in general!)


Bible Verse:  “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17


Word that has Lost its meaning: disbelief


Relatable Lyrics:  Believing For The Best In You by Stormie Omartian

“After all I’ve said to try and change your mind,

Are you still gonna doubt my words?

You can tell me your failures and point out your flaws – I don’t hear you…

…I’m believing for the best in you.”

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Ode to Mania

 

 

Mania, dear, sweet mania, oh how I hath loved thee.  You give me passion, a spark, a zeal for life that’s lacking when you’re not around.  Together, we’ve accomplished so much.  Sure we’ve gotten into quite a bit of trouble.  Yes, we’ve angered and alienated a lot of people.  But still, I love you dearly and I hate when we’re apart.  When you’re not around, I miss the euphoric energy you emanate that allows me to do almost anything.  I miss the grandiose feeling that I have superpowers and can juggle anything that life throws my way.  I miss being me to the 100th power.  I miss having the strength it takes to go days without sleep and not missing a beat; when the concept of time is meaningless.  I miss the floods of creativity you immerse me in, that drown out all the other non-essential, mundane dryness of this world.  I hate the Abilify, Ambien, and Alprazolam that suppress you and weaken your illustrious powers.  I loathe the Lamictal, Seroquel, and Wellbutrin that drive away that aggravated ecstasy that invigorates me to feel so free.  The selfish me wants to flush them all away.  But I can’t.  Alas, dear Mania, we cannot be together, not like before.  Even flirting with you is dangerous.  I know you’ll cause me to fly.  I know I can see the world, I can see the entire universe with you.  But you have to understand, I have responsibilities now.  Responsibilities that I can’t just throw out the window whenever you come around to please me.  I have to stay grounded.  I must remain stable.  Because I know each time we fly together, regardless of how intoxicating the ride, I always, always crash and burn.  You leave me alone in desolated isolation, vulnerable for depression to come and devour my soul.  I can’t afford your thrilling heart breaks anymore.  My sanity depends on it.  So I have to bid you adieu.  Farewell, my bitter-sweet, fair-weather companion.  I did love you.  But now; now I love myself more.

(Written February 2016)

Double Talk Quote: “Mommy, I like me!”  – Bella, “I like you too, baby!” – me

Bible Verse:  “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Word that has Lost its meaning: Superpowers

Relatable Lyrics: Coldplay ft. Beyonce – Hymn For The Weekend

“…You know you make my world light up
When I was down, when I was hurt
You came to lift me up…

…Put your wings on me, wings on me
When I was so heavy…

…Then we’ll shoot across the sky…”

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