Amor and I have exchanged vows four times. That’s right four times. Why? one might ask. Well, it isn’t because we enjoy expressing our undying love for one another.
15 years ago, I was in a domestic violence type of relationship with a bad man. Long story short, I got away and made up my mind that I would never again be under that kind of abusive power. I developed a “I am woman, hear me roar” type of attitude. I wanted children some day, but coming from that relationship and having had experienced the heartache of a broken home growing up, kids and family were not foremost on my mind. I decided that I would never get married. It was an antiquated institution anyway. That’s what I thought.
I was conflicted about it, however, because, although I lived a rather worldly life at the time, I was still a Christian and still held certain values. I liked to drink alcohol and have fun, but I did not sleep around. Since before I was old enough to know what it was, it had been engrained in me that sex outside of marriage is a sin. If you must have sex, get married. (Hum, that theory hadn’t worked out so well with the first relationship I was in). So celibate I remained.
I was not a “good girl,” though, and I actually found it fun toying with boys. I was a hot, blond bomb-shell type who lived at the beach so I had plenty of opportunities to flirt around and make the male tourists think they’d get some action, just to say “adios” after they had invested their whole evening with me. This was my way of getting back at all males (especially the self-proclaimed “playars”) for being jerks.
I had a lot of guy friends. Amor was one of the best of them. During the first three years we knew each other, he actually got married to a Russian woman and moved to a different hemisphere. When it didn’t work out and he returned, I started to realize that we’d be good together. I loved that he had such a giving heart and we were both very hard workers and worked well together. (Someday I’ll tell that back story entitled “Yellow and Green Skittles”). So Amor and I started dating and eventually, “messing around.”
But I felt convicted so I told him: “We have to get married.” This was about 11 pm on April 7, 2005. We were both a little tipsy. I was also rapid cycling (on a bipolar roller coaster ride) during this time and was blissfully yet painfully oblivious to that fact. So I grabbed an old prom dress I just happened to have in my closet and we went to the downstairs level of my little apartment. I did a quick “Ask Jeeves” search on the interweb for getting married online. We exchanged our vows by typing them in to the computer. There was a prayer and then a certificate appeared. I printed it out. It had room for 4 witness signatures. No one else was there. Law & Order SVU had been playing, on mute, in the background so I wrote in the names Olivia Benson, Eliot Stabler, Ice-T, and Jack McCoy. Done. We went back upstairs to enjoy our honeymoon…
Double Talk Quote: “I’m trying to remember the Sabbath and keep it Holy.” – Me 10+ years ago, “But Michelita, you violate it already…long time ago.” – Amor, whose English wasn’t quite as awesome as now, but yielded some awesomely funny quotes.
Verse: “…But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.” 1 Corinthians 7:28
Word that has Lost its meaning: tipsy
Relatable Lyrics: “Viveme” by Laura Pausini https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ_o_uEmzoE – dedicated to mi Amor
(March 17 2015 – twins 8 months)