“We Were On A Break!”

we were on a break

Remember the “Friends” saga when Ross and Rachel took “a break” and before she would take him back she wrote him a 18 page front and back letter to explain her feelings and her terms?  Needless to say, he didn’t read it, simply agreeing to whatever it said; anything to get her back.  Of course by the time he finally took the time to realize what she had to say, he didn’t agree and the relationship fell apart (again).

A few days before Christmas, my husband decided that he needed a break.  Tensions had been building in our relationship for a long time.  (And The Rain Came Down was written 9/30/2014 and alludes to troubles dating back even further than that) The past few months have been particularly rocky.  He wouldn’t say where he was going or for how long he’d be gone.    During this time, I was understandably upset, yet, I finally felt I could breathe.  The pit in my stomach dissipated.  The stress was momentarily lifted.  He ended up being gone for only two nights.  Maybe that was enough “break” for him, but I needed more time.  I told him he could stay on couch until we got things worked out.  I wrote him a letter and at the end I made a list of what needed to be done in order to end our break.    After angrily skimming the letter he started checking off items, items that had not been, and cannot be accomplished in one day.  I realized that I had pulled a “Rachel” and he, a “Ross.”

Both my husband and I are Christians and believe in the sanctity of marriage.  We have been in couples therapy for a while.  But there’s a pattern with us that I can see clearly now.  I won’t delve into detail but I will say that it is not a good pattern.  There’s peace and then tension, a building struggle, a breaking point, a blanket apology, and a honeymoon phase.  I don’t know if this can be fixed.

I hate to think of my children growing up in a broken home.  But what I hate worse is the thought of them growing up in an intact home with a broken mother.

Again, prayers appreciated.

Double Talk quote:  “I like being irrational.” – Amor

Bible Verses:  “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.”  Proverbs 21:9

Word that has Lost its meaning: listen

Relatable Lyrics:  “Family Portrait” – P!nk

“In our family portrait we look pretty happy
We look pretty normal, let’s go back to that
Let’s play pretend, act like it goes naturally ”

(Twins 18 months, Mica 7)

2015-04-06 10.16.50

 

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Comments on: "“We Were On A Break!”" (11)

  1. WE WERE ON A BREAK!!! There are so many Friends’ quotes that are now part of my daily venacular. I pray you guys get through this becoming that much stronger in the process.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I cannot begin to understand how difficult the decisions are that you have to make; the struggles you undertake every day. But I know you are strong, and in your weakness, He is strong, and that, no matter what happens, God will take care of you, and God will take care of those 3 beautiful children. You are in my thoughts and prayers always and I love you more than words can say, and I, WE, are here for YOU! You are not alone and you can do all things through Christ Who strengthens you ❤

    Love love love you Sissy

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Like you were there for our (very different) time of need for three straight years (even when we *thought* we didn’t want you there), we are there for you and your young ones! You may feel as though you are alone, but you are far from alone. In times of trouble, when we feel most alone, is when must remind ourselves that we are always engulfed in G-D’s love, glory, mercy, and grace. You are a righteous woman, Belle, and this is not your fault. Psalm 34:17

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Amor says, no one will be there for you like i want to be there for you and my kids. i am praying to GOD that we get through this situation. no one will give you and my kids the love, support, protection and care that they need. i regret a lot of words i said to you. and all the preasure i have put you in. i said i’m sorry and i am willing to do what ever it takes to make this work and be there for you and my kids. and the people saying that they will be there for you like your sister and your brother inlaw they are not going to move from [Edited by Author] to “be there for you” and my kids. they can say all they want but it takes more than just words to be there for you and my kids. i can’t even imagine leaving without you and my kids. i am not leaving my kids and i know they would not leave me. and i am not leaving you and i am not going to let satan distroy our family and i rebuke anything that will come against us in the name of JESUS CHRIST my LORD AND SAVIOR Amen. I love you and my kids

    Like

  5. You have received such beautiful, eloquent and heartfelt comments.
    I want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts, and
    I’m sending you lots of love and strength!!!!!

    Like

  6. I work with your mom and I am offering up my prayers for you & your husband: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sending prayers your way. I can’t imagine how tough it would be to make that decision, but I hope you guys ultimately come out stronger for it.

    Liked by 1 person

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