I have so much to write. I love writing my blog and I have so many open drafts, so many ideas of what I want to write, but so little time. But there is so much more writing I need to do and I’m feeling the pressure to update those things as well as my blog (esp. my “Mommy Resume”.
- My prayer journal: I’ve been writing prayers – pen to paper for over a decade. Over the last few months, I’ve been typing or saying prayers but it just doesn’t feel the same as when I sit down with a blank book and chicken-scratch a “Dear God” letter. There’s no auto-correct. There’s no editing. There’s no outline. And there’s no right or wrong thing to write. I just pour out my heart and I feel closer to God. So I’ve been getting up earlier and earlier to try to feel that closeness. When I’m not interrupted by an early morning rising baby, it’s such a fulfilling feeling to just scribble my thoughts to the Lord in the morning.
- Baby Books: Mica’s baby book is a masterpiece work of art. It contains drawings we did together and detailed stories from when she was little, with added pages, tailored to show her uniqueness and just how special she is to me. It is a beautiful exhibit of her character as a baby, and mine too, as a first-time mom. The twins each have baby books. I knew it would be challenging to keep up with two, especially considering the time and effort I put into Mica’s. I definitely have some updating to do there! With so much going on and so little time, I find myself throwing sticky notes and drawings in the books. I really need to go through and organize those things, and actually write in them.
- Birthday Letters: On each child’s birthday, I’m supposed to celebrate, make a cake, throw a party, and be exuberant and enthusiastic (regardless of my mood or energy level). I have also put it upon myself to write an extremely heartfelt card, not to be opened for 18 years (or “when the time is right”). With four to write for (and two in one day), it can be a lot. These are not just well wishes. These are spiritual blessings and hopes and dreams for my children’s futures. Each is unique. Each is special. I cry tears of emotion, joy, and sentiment over each.
- Immigration: Amor, my husband, and I have an immigration case pending. He is from Mexico and is seeking permanent citizenship. Much of his case resides on my written brief. For the longest time, we were waiting on the Government for the forms we filed to be processed. The case is currently awaiting my input. It’s time to get around to that.
- Snail Mail: Who sends good, old-fashioned snail mail anymore? Me!!! Well, it’s mostly drawing or collages. But still, it takes time to put together, write little comments and the addresses, etc. I send them mostly to my sister but like to surprise other family members from time to time.
- Business: Don’t you just hate calling a big corporation and talking to a machine? Then after 5 or 10 minutes, you finally get someone on the line and the accent is so thick and the connection so terrible, you can’t communicate? I’ve gone through this so much and wasted so much time and aggravation. I usually sit down and write to customers service when I have a complaint with a company. If they don’t have an online chat or email center, again, I use snail mail. I usually get results that way with less frustration. (I get anxiety from talking on the phone anyway, often, even with people I know. It’s a strange Bipolar-related symptom).
I’m juggling a lot. Writing is just one of the balls I have in the air. It’s one of my favorite balls to catch, especially due to its therapeutic properties, but it’s hard to keep up with. There are more pressing issues I have to attend to: making sure my children are well cared for and also leading them in the path of Jesus, taking care of my marriage, keeping house, grocery shopping and bills, keeping up with friends, helping neighbors, etc. But I’ll find time. Lord knows, I have plenty of inspiration. I’ll find time to make it a priority.
(March 17, 2016 – twins 1 1/2, Hope 6, Mica almost 8!)
Double Talk Quote: “There’s a hair” – Mica, meant to say chair
Bible Verse: “See what large letters I use as I write to you with my own hand!” – Galatians 6:11
Word that has Lost its meaning: Finished
Relatable Lyrics: “Under Pressure” by Queen
“Chippin’ around, kick my brains ’round the floor
These are the days – it never rains but it pours…
Insanity laughs under pressure we’re cracking
Can’t we give ourselves one more chance?”