Season Of Survival
Time after time, I’ve been approached in random places, by fellow moms of twins and given words of encouragement, affirmation, and advice. The most common information I have received is, “It gets easier after the first two years.”
Over the past year, I have experienced challenges meeting even my basic physical and psychological needs. Almost anyone who has given birth will admit that, in the beginning, it’s downright hard. Sleep deprivation, the sound of crying, and keeping up with the demands of a newborn is not easy and can take a toll on any new mother.
Here’s my equation: Double that (twins) + 7-year-old daughter + marital challenges + financial difficulties + changing environment (baby Asher leaving, 6-year old Hope becoming like a 4th child to me) + Bipolar disorder & anxiety issues = “God I need your help”
For this season in my life, I’ve had to focus on surviving. So the dishes didn’t get done. My family ate dinner. So the living room floor is littered with toys. My babies played and learned today. The clean laundry has been sitting in the basket so long, it may never even get put back into the drawers before worn again. My family has clean clothes to wear. There are ants in the kitchen (and bedroom, and bathroom). At least they aren’t fire ants! So I forgot to renew my license and I paid the cable bill twice last month. I got where I needed to go, and the cable refund will help a lot towards an extra expense we have this month. So I have bruises I don’t know where they came from. That just means I was working so fast that the pain didn’t even bother me.
I recently made a summer “goal schedule.” It helps me stay on track and try to balance it all. Sometimes, I feel like there are just too many balls to juggle and I just have to let a few fall. And that’s okay. Right now, that’s okay. Because seasons change. Spring follows Winter. One day… one day soon, maybe even today, the ice will start to melt and the sun will shine and I will slowly but surely emerge from this season of surviving to a season of thriving.
(July 1, 2015 – twins 1 year old)
Double Talk Quote: “I was hoping she (the mom of twins) was going to say it gets better after 6 months!” – Amor, the first time someone told him about the two year marker.
Bible Verse: Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. – 1 Peter 5:6
Word that has Lost its meaning: failure
Relatable Lyrics: Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxzEeKfpyIg&list=PLtW2C_aPoZfSm10ubNP5mVcg2vqfK8n_-&index=3
(Dry Erase “Goal Schedule”)