Posts tagged ‘thoughts’

What To Do When…

 20170505_Super Brooks Sleeping

When so much is going on around you that you just can’t respond…

When you feel like you’re in the center of a hurricane…

When you force yourself out of bed just long enough to throw lunch together for your babes…

When your hands are shaking so hard you can barely type…

When you don’t even have the energy to change the sheets from the pee-pee accident that your little one made in the bed last night; the very bed you can’t get out of, just covered up with a towel….

When there’s nothing on TV; at least nothing you could possibly focus on…

When you don’t know the day or date without looking it up on your phone or computer for the 3rd time today…

When you look at your to-do list and freeze…

When you can’t laugh…

When you can’t cry…

When you don’t even care that they’re getting into your jewelry or makeup or other breakable / messy things…

When you don’t care that there’s rice sprinkled all over the living room furniture…

When one of them asks you for help and you say, “in just a few minutes, baby.  Mommy’s resting…”

When you lost your confidence overnight…

When you read a journal entry from just last week and can’t relate nor do you even remember writing it…

When you can’t think in complete sentences…

 

Double Talk Quote: “Mommy, mommy, look what I can do!” – Brooks  (Jumps from on top of desk to bed as I try to type this), “uh-huh, that’s nice, son.”

Bible Verse: “I lift up my eyes to the hills.  From where does my help come?  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”  Psalms 121:1-2

Word that has Lost its meaning:  awake

Relatable Lyrics:  “Everybody’s Changing” by Keane

“So little time
Try to understand that I’m
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody’s changing and I don’t feel the same.”

Why I Choose To No Longer Wear Leggings

leggings

I’ve decided that as a good, clean, pious, woman of high moral fortitude, I will never wear leggings, as they may entice men, particularly my husband, to think lustful thoughts about me.
In the same spirit, I have disposed of all my lipstick and mascara in an effort to not draw attention to my lip and eye regions, as I have been told, in the past that I have nice nice eyes and sexy lips. Actually, I am currently looking for a great online website that sells burqas (full face veils) at a decent price.

I am fully aware that wearing jeans is out too, since the style is to wear them skinny and therefore since they are the same style as leggings, they may make my legs look like they are the shape of legs, therefore making men think of legs, and therefore automatically they will, for sure, think of sex. Jeans that are not shaped like legs are automatically associated with sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll and I don’t want to be associated with such hippie nonsense.
Skirts are a no-no. A man might tie a mirror to his shoe to see what’s up under there and since I no longer wear leggings, he might get an eye-full!

I know some men have feet fetishes so flip-flops are out, just in case I run across a man with such sexual proclivities. I would hate to think my toes may be a stumbling block to anyone with this sexual affliction.

On the same note, I was thinking, since hands are often used during the very act of sex itself that I should wear gloves too, lest a man see them and have immoral imaginations. However, gloves cling to hands and in essence do for fingers what leggings do for legs. Therefore, I think going with mittens would be a wiser, more modest approach.

Many men think long hair is sexy. Then again, others think short hair is sexier, so I will start braiding my hair in pigtails to make sure I look like Laura Ingalls from “Little House on the Prairie.” But don’t be alarmed, I will still cover my head so that potential pedophiles won’t be tempted either.

Even though leggings would be the most convenient, affordable and comfortable clothing I could possibly wear, seeing as I recently gave birth to twins and gained 768 lbs during my pregnancy and going out and purchasing a new wardrobe every time I lose a few pounds is not feasible, I refuse to wear them.

So here’s the conundrum: what to wear. Earlier in this article I mentioned looking for inexpensive veils. You see, I tried cutting out the netting from one of Bella’s dresses and wrapping it around my head, but the tulle was white and my eyes are green so they weren’t very well hidden. To cover my body, I thought about cutting some holes in a sheet but that’s what the puritans used to do when they would have sex on their wedding nights. Perhaps I can visit a few thrift stores in search of a few gently used choir robes and that should solve all my problems. In the meantime, I had the idea to disassemble my sister Sarah’s goldfish catching net and sew it to the hooded portion of my Snuggie.

Surely will this not only ward off any tempting thoughts by the men I come across, this will definitely benefit me, especially when I visit the beach or my local water park. Normally, when I’m wearing a bikini, I have to apply sunblock on an hourly basis, since my fair skin burns easily. Now, I won’t have to worry about that anymore.

It is not at all insulting to men in general to imply that it is impossible for them to control their own thoughts. It is also simply not possible that our society may present and promote sex in a way that encourages men to think perverse thoughts. I will make sure that I never go to Africa because I’m sure all those men down there are thinking dirty, filthy thoughts about the topless African women who walk around their un-airconditioned huts feeding their babies from their naked breasts.

Finally, there is surely nothing more important that I should be doing right now, so it’s good that I took the time to write about this very serious issue.

 

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