Posts tagged ‘insulting’

“Psst… Are You Pregnant Again?”

I just got back from a BIG family vacation to Disney World a few weeks ago.  It was a crazy, awesome time!  But more on that at a later date.

All at Disney - Majic Kingdom

Me and the Crew at Magic Kingdom, Disney World!

 

Yesterday was Sunday.  I would like to take a moment to focus on a little question that was made to me yesterday.  I was volunteering at my church, like I usually do, teaching in the 3-5-year-olds’ class.  It was near the end of the service when an associate of mine approached me and engaged me in a short conversation.  After exchanging pleasantries, we chatted briefly about our children.  As I was returning to my room to finish up, she whispered down the hall, “Psst…Are you Pregnant Again?

How should I feel?  Should I be shocked, dismayed, angry, annoyed, criticized, self-conscious, disgraced, scored and/or maybe embarrassed?  Doesn’t everyone know not to ask that question unless they are absolutely sure that the answer is “yes”?  Am I so big that I look pregnant?

“No, I’m done with all that,” was my simple reply and off I ran, back to my classroom.

Now, just before Christmas, with the approval of my doctor, I had slowly decreased a few of my medications and even cut one out altogether.  I did have some difficulties with the transition, including some moderate depression and fluctuating moods.  One pleasant side-effect (for me anyway) was that I lost a few pounds, without even trying (my dear husband likes me on the bigger side, however, so he wasn’t as thrilled with the change)!  The weight-loss wasn’t significant and my weight tends to fluctuate anyway, so it wasn’t a very big deal.  I really didn’t think anyone even noticed except for me and my husband.

A couple of weeks before we left to go on the vacation, I knew I needed to pull myself together so I’d be stable for what turned out to be a very unstable trip.  So, again, with the doc’s permission, I upped my doses of mood-stabilizers.  And with that increase, I regained some of those previously lost pounds.  “No biggie,” I punned to myself.  After all, I’ve been eating healthy foods, drinking tons of water and getting plenty of exercise.  The only change has been with my meds.  Some medications just have weight gain as a side-effect and it’s really, really hard to beat.

This past week, my sister and her two-year-old son were in town visiting and my now 9-year-old daughter had her birthday party at our house.  We had a great time, but some things were left undone.  For example, in the morning, as I was getting ready for church, I realized that I hadn’t done my laundry in over a week!  Really the only clean, decent thing I had to wear was an extra large tank top or a tiny tube top.  I decided that the tube top might be indecent for church, because for pants, of course, I was going to wear leggings. But then again, the large tank top was so loose that my cleavage would show.  So, I wore both; the tube underneath to cover my boobage and the tank over it to cover the tube’s tightness.   I wasn’t worried about how big the shirt was, it was long enough to cover my bum, plus I was going to wear an accentuating sweater to tie the ensemble together anyway.

My thought process while actually getting ready was really not that sophisticated.  I mean, who am I there to impress?  God loves me no matter what.  And three, four, and five-year-olds don’t care what you wear.  So I went to church and did my service.  While singing and dancing with the kiddies, I got hot, so hot, in fact, that I took my sweater off. The only thing I felt slightly self-conscious about was the large scar I have on my back, part of which was partially exposed because my hair was up.  It was shortly after that, that the comment was made…

Psst…Are you Pregnant Again?”

How should I feel?  Insulted.  I should feel insulted; throw that tank top away, go on a strict diet, starve myself, and quit taking my stupid medications that cause the stupid side-effect!

But the more I thought about it, the less insulted I felt.  I began to have a fresh perspective.  I decided not to accept it as an insult.  And here’s why:

  1. Someone thought I was enough of a Super Mommy to actually handle another kid, (especially another baby).
  2. I’m no spring chicken.  I’m not old but at age 35, the ob-gyn docs start considering you as a “high risk” patient.  I could take the comment as a compliment, even.  I look young enough to want to have more children!
  3. I’ve heard this same woman talk before.  I don’t think she tries to be mean or insulting.  I think she’s just insensitive.  And maybe she doesn’t even realize she’s saying something that others may find offensive.
  4. I really just don’t care that much about what other people think about me anymore.  Why should I let one comment bash my self-esteem when I know I’m trying my best?
  5. I don’t think I look pregnant.  Why should I care if one other person on this planet does?

20170308_Pretty Mommy 2

A very recent picture of my (not-pregnant) self!

 

So after this post, I’m going to “Let It Go;” like water off a duck’s back.

water off donald duck's back

 

Double Talk Quote: (And this is a coincidence…) “Mommy, can you give me some insults?” – Mica, after our first day at Disney World.  She was trying to say “insoles” for her shoes because her feet hurt from walking so much.

Bible Verse: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:9

Word that has Lost its meaning: insulted

Relatable Lyrics:  “Let It Go” – Disney’s Frozen

“Let it go, let it go… I don’t care, what they’re going to say…”

Disney - Epcot - Me Mommy Belle at Epcot with the girls, Bella, Micaela, and Grace; Elsa and Anna

Me and my girls at Epcot

 

 

 

Why I Choose To No Longer Wear Leggings

leggings

I’ve decided that as a good, clean, pious, woman of high moral fortitude, I will never wear leggings, as they may entice men, particularly my husband, to think lustful thoughts about me.
In the same spirit, I have disposed of all my lipstick and mascara in an effort to not draw attention to my lip and eye regions, as I have been told, in the past that I have nice nice eyes and sexy lips. Actually, I am currently looking for a great online website that sells burqas (full face veils) at a decent price.

I am fully aware that wearing jeans is out too, since the style is to wear them skinny and therefore since they are the same style as leggings, they may make my legs look like they are the shape of legs, therefore making men think of legs, and therefore automatically they will, for sure, think of sex. Jeans that are not shaped like legs are automatically associated with sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll and I don’t want to be associated with such hippie nonsense.
Skirts are a no-no. A man might tie a mirror to his shoe to see what’s up under there and since I no longer wear leggings, he might get an eye-full!

I know some men have feet fetishes so flip-flops are out, just in case I run across a man with such sexual proclivities. I would hate to think my toes may be a stumbling block to anyone with this sexual affliction.

On the same note, I was thinking, since hands are often used during the very act of sex itself that I should wear gloves too, lest a man see them and have immoral imaginations. However, gloves cling to hands and in essence do for fingers what leggings do for legs. Therefore, I think going with mittens would be a wiser, more modest approach.

Many men think long hair is sexy. Then again, others think short hair is sexier, so I will start braiding my hair in pigtails to make sure I look like Laura Ingalls from “Little House on the Prairie.” But don’t be alarmed, I will still cover my head so that potential pedophiles won’t be tempted either.

Even though leggings would be the most convenient, affordable and comfortable clothing I could possibly wear, seeing as I recently gave birth to twins and gained 768 lbs during my pregnancy and going out and purchasing a new wardrobe every time I lose a few pounds is not feasible, I refuse to wear them.

So here’s the conundrum: what to wear. Earlier in this article I mentioned looking for inexpensive veils. You see, I tried cutting out the netting from one of Bella’s dresses and wrapping it around my head, but the tulle was white and my eyes are green so they weren’t very well hidden. To cover my body, I thought about cutting some holes in a sheet but that’s what the puritans used to do when they would have sex on their wedding nights. Perhaps I can visit a few thrift stores in search of a few gently used choir robes and that should solve all my problems. In the meantime, I had the idea to disassemble my sister Sarah’s goldfish catching net and sew it to the hooded portion of my Snuggie.

Surely will this not only ward off any tempting thoughts by the men I come across, this will definitely benefit me, especially when I visit the beach or my local water park. Normally, when I’m wearing a bikini, I have to apply sunblock on an hourly basis, since my fair skin burns easily. Now, I won’t have to worry about that anymore.

It is not at all insulting to men in general to imply that it is impossible for them to control their own thoughts. It is also simply not possible that our society may present and promote sex in a way that encourages men to think perverse thoughts. I will make sure that I never go to Africa because I’m sure all those men down there are thinking dirty, filthy thoughts about the topless African women who walk around their un-airconditioned huts feeding their babies from their naked breasts.

Finally, there is surely nothing more important that I should be doing right now, so it’s good that I took the time to write about this very serious issue.

 

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