Black Days

Amor's Phone 2 black days yes

I’ve felt depression sneaking in over the past few weeks.  Things I normally enjoy doing like taking care of my family, doing church activities, and making summer super-fun for my kids, has become increasingly difficult to do.

  • Money (or the lack of it) is of considerable concern.
  • None of my suggestions seem to matter.
  • I’m overwhelmed by all that needs to be done.
  • Discord rings through the home.
  • I feel like my purpose is lost.  Yesterday I believed my writing mattered.  This morning that feeling was just gone.
  • I’m misunderstood.  I’m not who I am.  Or am I?

Is this an identity crisis?  No.

I am SuperMommy.  This is my Kryptonite:  Depression.

(Saturday July 18, 2015 – twins 12 months)

Double Talk Message: I love my babes.  I’ve written to them and that will matter…  One day, that will mean something.

Bible Verse: Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. – Psalm 126:5

Word that has Lost its meaning: energy

Relatable Lyrics:  Soundgarden – Fell on Black Days

“so don’t you lock up something that you wanted to see fly”

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Comments on: "Black Days" (9)

  1. One of the things that strikes me most about this is when you wrote: “none of my suggestions seem to matter.” I guess I am just shocked by this because I always think your suggestions matter & that they are awesome & obvious that you have spent time, thought, & effort planning them out. & not only that, I have always been a huge admirer of your suggestions; your ideas; the way you think. You have played a HUGE role in shaping me into the supermommy I am today & for that I am always grateful. So when you feel like you’re not heard, just remember that there is always someone watching you; observing how you handle things; ideas you have; & you are greatly admired & extremely loved beyond words. Keep fighting the good fight ❤ His promises are true (like you wrote in your other blog) & joy does come in the morning!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks for the encouragement. I’m thankful that you let me know I’ve influenced you (and in effect, Asher) in a positive way. You are a SuperMommy and a SuperSissy too. I miss you immensely but I know I’m always in your heart, thoughts, and prayers, as you are in mine. I’ll keep my chin up as I wait (Romans 8:28). I know feelings are fleeting but God’s promises true.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so thankful that only God can use our tragedies into triumph for us; He uses the darkness to make his light shine so much brighter. He uses all of our overwhelming weaknesses for us to see the need and depend on His supernatural strength. “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corin 12:10
    He restores Belle’s soul; He guides her in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
    Even though she walks through the darkest valley, she will fear no evil, for you are with Michelle; your rod and your staff, they comfort her…You have anointed her head with oil; Her cup overflows. Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow her all the days of her life, And she will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. ❤ (Psalm 23)
    How blessed is Belle, though she mourns, she will be comforted. (Mat 5:4)
    I pray that Michelle (and all of us) would "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, 3knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2)
    And remember it is written, "He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever." Revelation 21:4
    Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. (2 Corin 4:17)
    God's got this! So keep that beautiful chin up ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the scriptural reminders and for always being there for me when things get rocky. Prayers are real, scriptures are true and God knows what I need. Thanks for praying even if you don’t know what exactly it is I need. I’m praying for you too. Your ministry is getting charged up. Thanks for making this world better, SuperSissy.

      Like

  3. Grandma said:

    You may not think that what you say matters, but it is important that you still say it – tell the truth in love. After you have said it, if your advise is not taken, then at least you have had your say. I know of whom you speak, and why you feel that way. The Bible talks of iron sharpening iron, and although you may not see the result quickly, over time you will see that you do have an influence. I grew up – my whole childhood – in this situation. I can remember walking down the farm path, and talking to God about the situation. It is hard to deal with while you are going through it, but you must have your say, even if it is ignored, and you must talk to God about it, and your feelings of being ignored. Sometimes God can show us a way to communicate that is different that what we would ordinarily think. Look at Queen Esther – she did not go directly to the King and ask that her life and the lives of her people would be saved. Her people had been praying and fasting for her, and when she went to the King, she just asked that he and Haman “attend a banquet”. Kind of weird, isn’t it? She did that 3 times before she got down to business. I think it was because God was guiding her as to a special way to communicate that would really get the King’s attention.

    I don’t know where all that came from, but if you get any use out of it, use it! LOL! And if you think that I could help communicate with whoever you are having problems with, let me know!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. When my first child was born, about 29 years ago, one of the first visitors from my church told me this: The days are long, but the years are short. I had an inkling of what she meant, and now that my children are technically adults, I feel it. Keep enjoying those good moments! Blessings to you and your family!

    Liked by 1 person

    • A lady from my church told me this too and I believe it! My oldest is only 7 years old and I already understand how true it is. Thankfully, “black days” have been few and far between since the twins were born and I am so grateful to God for each and every precious golden moment I get with all my little ones. Thanks so much for the reminder and the prayers. God Bless!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. […] of time), I sent a message to let the church know I wouldn’t be able to make it.  I needed a “down day.”  Amor and Grandma took care of the kids all morning until around nap […]

    Liked by 1 person

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