Think: "You think you can, You think you can, You think you can" & one day say: "You thought you could, You said you could, You knew you could" & thus, at least: you thought you did.

Posts tagged ‘mommy’

Baby Blues

Baby Blues

da da da da dum…
da da da da dum…
da da da da dum, de dum, de dum, de dum, de dum, da da dum…
da da da da dum…

I woke up from naptime,
I was ready to play,
Mommy was alone, Daddy wasn’t home, he had to work all day,

Now I got the play time,
The play-time baby blues (bl-ues),
Yeah, the Mommy she’s real cool,
But sometimes she just won’t do.

da da da da dum…

I woke up at midnight,
Look what someone did,
Encaged and enraged, shocked and dismayed, they made me sleep in my crib,

Now I got the midnight,
The midnight baby blues (bl-ues),
So I cried to my Mommy (come pick me up),
I wanna cuddle with you.

da da da da dum…

I woke up this morning,
I was ready for food,
Looked over to find Mommy by my side with a yum-yum filled boob,

Now I got some yum-yums,
To cure my baby blues (bl-ues),
Yeah, the yum-yums good for my tum-tums (give me some)
To cure my baby blues.

Yeah, I had the baby (baby)
I had the baby blues (bl-ues),
I had the little-baby-‘bout-to-make-my-mommy-go-insane-y blues, blues.

(Written Dec 2008)


2014 Newborn twin grin

Twin Grin – Bella and Brooks

Micaela baby and mommy

Mommy and Baby Mica




Warning:  Yum-Yum (breast-feeding) Photo ahead:




breast-feeding twins 23 months 1

23 months (almost at the 2-year marker)!


Big Sissy

- Big Sissy -

I knew that having babies would have an effect on Mica. I knew she’d be excited but that there would be many adjustments to make. I knew it would be difficult for her to go to bed on her own and get herself ready for things in a timely fashion. But she has done surprisingly well with both of those issues, considering the bad habits we had tolerated for so long (sleeping in our bed, dawdling, etc.). I also knew she’d get very bored, which I was right about, too. For the first couple of weeks after the babies arrived, she ever so patiently put up with being cooped up in the house with two screaming infants without complaint. I guess it was due to the excitement and newness of it all. But then, welcome to boredom city! I enrolled her in VBS (but then forgot to take her, oops), sent her to the library with Grandma, encouraged her to read and watch what she had borrowed from the library, asked Starla to take her to Chuck-E-Cheese’s, played board games and helped her with projects whenever I got a free hand, and allowed cousin Hope to come over. That took care of all of 4% of the boredom she felt. Finally, I turned to Facebook friends for help with this plea: “Mica is going a little stir-crazy. Anyone want to take her for a play date sometime?” and tagged all her friend’s parents in the post. The response was actually pretty good. She went on three play dates this past week and I have another two tentatively planned for next week. I can tell a huge difference when she gets a chance to get out of the house. Now when she says she’s bored, I can remind her of what she’s got coming up. If she just can’t wait until then, I tell her to clean something, or practice her school work. That usually stops the complaint for a while.

There were two things I did not anticipate from Mica that surprised me. I knew that she would take the role of “big sissy” seriously. I just didn’t realize how seriously. From the moment she met them, it was like she was a little mommy, instinctively knowing exactly what to do, from how to hold them, to soothing their crying. She is the best helper ever! If anything, she is too over-the-top with her mommying antics. She wants to kiss them all the time, hold them all the time, change their diapers, pick them up whenever they cry and feed them herself. “Herself” is a very important word. It’s as if she gets insulted when anyone tries to help her take care of them. At only one week, she believed herself an expert at carrying them around. We would let her try, as long as she had someone to “spot” her, usually Amor. But she would get so aggravated and complain that Daddy was always “snatching the baby” from her. One night she begged to pick up Bella and bring her to me. Amor insisted on spotting her and Mica agreed on the condition that he not snatch her. Well, sure enough, Amor didn’t think she was doing it right and tried to take Bella away from her. I could tell Mica had a good grip on her so I just laughed when she turned away from him, Bella in tow, and started running, yelling “My baby! My baby! My baby!” The next day while at the doctor’s office for a scheduled appointment, we asked him to make it a rule, no picking up or carrying the babies. That way he was the bad guy, not us. It’s doctor’s orders.

The second thing I didn’t anticipate, or even consider beforehand, was the running commentary that Mica creates. She talks nonstop! I can’t determine if this is a new behavior or one I just never noticed before. With her as my only child, I always made a point of paying attention to whatever was on her mind. I want her to grow up knowing that her thoughts and opinions matter. But I’m finding it extremely difficult to focus now. At any given time, I have Amor asking me questions, the TV on in the background, various babies crying with specific needs, my own mind running thoughts, and then there’s Mica’s little voice in the background, filling up any chance of a quiet moment. Her chatter involves 3 methods: copying the noises the babies make, reenacting the thing the baby just did, or translating what the baby is thinking as he or she bellows. That is in addition to voicing her own needs and complaints. With me being so busy with the babies, Amor has been the one more “in charge” of her lately and he has his own way of dealing with her that is much different than my approach. She often comes to me to challenge and complain about him. She is also very adept at the art of debate. Argumentative, dogmatic, and always right… my mom always facetiously hoped for me to have a little girl who was just like me. I guess she got her wish.

Double Talk Quote
: Mica – “Mommy, I was quiet for an hour!”

Relatable Lyrics: “Fireflies” by Owl City

Verse: “A friend loves at all times and a brother (or sister) was born for help in a time of need” Psalm 17:17

Word that has lost its meaning: (to me, anyway) Boring

Written: July 27, 2014 (4 weeks)

Big Sissy 2Big Sissy Kiss

Manic Mom


I’ve been pretty manic lately and it seems like the creativity just pours out of my mouth or fingertips. Ideas barely have time to form before I get a chance to respond to them. I looked up postpartum mania but I didn’t find much. Most articles are about postpartum depression and/or psychosis. Is mania really that rare? If not, why isn’t anyone talking about it?

Every morning I wake up feeling like supermommy. Every night as I’m drifting off into Ambien-induced oblivion, I feel beat down. The feeling of grandeur replaced by self proclaimed shame and inadequacy. I’m not depressed, however, just irritated; Irritated that I can’t be perfect.

Writing has been therapeutic for me. Sometimes I talk and talk. It’s obvious that people can hear me but they are not listening. Writing, even when it goes unread, has been the only way I’ve found to release that aggravated ecstasy I feel within. Mania feels so good to me. Apparently it doesn’t feel so good to those around me. Also, I’ve been manic enough in the past to know that what goes up must come down. I cannot be depressed with three kids. History has taught me that I can’t even be depressed with one kid and get away with it.

My counselor recommended (and Amor demanded) that I go see my psychiatrist. She put me on a combo of meds that have worked for me in the past. All they did this time, however, was dry up my once-ever-so-abundant milk supply. I stopped taking them. Want to see me depressed? Yeah, take away my ability to feed my children! As the wise old turtle, Ooguay, from Kung Fu Panda says, “One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.” Please Lord, destine me for joy, not depression!

Double Talk Quote: “I need to use the restroom. I’m going to the attic.” – Amor

Relatable Lyrics: “I’m no Superman” by Lazlo Bane

Verse: “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10

Word that has Lost its meaning
: Coincidence (God ordains everything)

August 25, 2014 (8 weeks old)

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