“Psst… Are You Pregnant Again?”
I just got back from a BIG family vacation to Disney World a few weeks ago. It was a crazy, awesome time! But more on that at a later date.
Yesterday was Sunday. I would like to take a moment to focus on a little question that was made to me yesterday. I was volunteering at my church, like I usually do, teaching in the 3-5-year-olds’ class. It was near the end of the service when an associate of mine approached me and engaged me in a short conversation. After exchanging pleasantries, we chatted briefly about our children. As I was returning to my room to finish up, she whispered down the hall, “Psst…Are you Pregnant Again?”
How should I feel? Should I be shocked, dismayed, angry, annoyed, criticized, self-conscious, disgraced, scored and/or maybe embarrassed? Doesn’t everyone know not to ask that question unless they are absolutely sure that the answer is “yes”? Am I so big that I look pregnant?
“No, I’m done with all that,” was my simple reply and off I ran, back to my classroom.
Now, just before Christmas, with the approval of my doctor, I had slowly decreased a few of my medications and even cut one out altogether. I did have some difficulties with the transition, including some moderate depression and fluctuating moods. One pleasant side-effect (for me anyway) was that I lost a few pounds, without even trying (my dear husband likes me on the bigger side, however, so he wasn’t as thrilled with the change)! The weight-loss wasn’t significant and my weight tends to fluctuate anyway, so it wasn’t a very big deal. I really didn’t think anyone even noticed except for me and my husband.
A couple of weeks before we left to go on the vacation, I knew I needed to pull myself together so I’d be stable for what turned out to be a very unstable trip. So, again, with the doc’s permission, I upped my doses of mood-stabilizers. And with that increase, I regained some of those previously lost pounds. “No biggie,” I punned to myself. After all, I’ve been eating healthy foods, drinking tons of water and getting plenty of exercise. The only change has been with my meds. Some medications just have weight gain as a side-effect and it’s really, really hard to beat.
This past week, my sister and her two-year-old son were in town visiting and my now 9-year-old daughter had her birthday party at our house. We had a great time, but some things were left undone. For example, in the morning, as I was getting ready for church, I realized that I hadn’t done my laundry in over a week! Really the only clean, decent thing I had to wear was an extra large tank top or a tiny tube top. I decided that the tube top might be indecent for church, because for pants, of course, I was going to wear leggings. But then again, the large tank top was so loose that my cleavage would show. So, I wore both; the tube underneath to cover my boobage and the tank over it to cover the tube’s tightness. I wasn’t worried about how big the shirt was, it was long enough to cover my bum, plus I was going to wear an accentuating sweater to tie the ensemble together anyway.
My thought process while actually getting ready was really not that sophisticated. I mean, who am I there to impress? God loves me no matter what. And three, four, and five-year-olds don’t care what you wear. So I went to church and did my service. While singing and dancing with the kiddies, I got hot, so hot, in fact, that I took my sweater off. The only thing I felt slightly self-conscious about was the large scar I have on my back, part of which was partially exposed because my hair was up. It was shortly after that, that the comment was made…
“Psst…Are you Pregnant Again?”
How should I feel? Insulted. I should feel insulted; throw that tank top away, go on a strict diet, starve myself, and quit taking my stupid medications that cause the stupid side-effect!
But the more I thought about it, the less insulted I felt. I began to have a fresh perspective. I decided not to accept it as an insult. And here’s why:
- Someone thought I was enough of a Super Mommy to actually handle another kid, (especially another baby).
- I’m no spring chicken. I’m not old but at age 35, the ob-gyn docs start considering you as a “high risk” patient. I could take the comment as a compliment, even. I look young enough to want to have more children!
- I’ve heard this same woman talk before. I don’t think she tries to be mean or insulting. I think she’s just insensitive. And maybe she doesn’t even realize she’s saying something that others may find offensive.
- I really just don’t care that much about what other people think about me anymore. Why should I let one comment bash my self-esteem when I know I’m trying my best?
- I don’t think I look pregnant. Why should I care if one other person on this planet does?
So after this post, I’m going to “Let It Go;” like water off a duck’s back.
Double Talk Quote: (And this is a coincidence…) “Mommy, can you give me some insults?” – Mica, after our first day at Disney World. She was trying to say “insoles” for her shoes because her feet hurt from walking so much.
Bible Verse: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:9
Word that has Lost its meaning: insulted
Relatable Lyrics: “Let It Go” – Disney’s Frozen
“Let it go, let it go… I don’t care, what they’re going to say…”