Think: "You think you can, You think you can, You think you can" & one day say: "You thought you could, You said you could, You knew you could" & thus, at least: you thought you did.

Posts tagged ‘Hypomania’

Midnight Medication Mixup

Morning Mommy 3

Sleep is the key to my sanity.  If I can regulate sleep, it’s easier to regulate my moods as well.

I have medication that I take at night and I have medication I take in the morning; and never the tween shall meet.  Except they did last night.  Instead of my usual regimen of Ambien, Abilify, and Lamictal, I skipped the first two, opting to take 1/2 of  a Seroquel instead (my doctor is okay with me doing this on occasion).  I had felt a bit of hypomania coming on so I wanted a good night’s rest and Seroquel usually does the trick.  I also knew I didn’t have a busy day coming up so I could rest if it made me a bit drowsy.

But…A cat pressed his way through the door, which was pulled-to but apparently not closed and the hallway light was on.   I woke up in a haze, barely able to see.  The piercing light was coming from the same direction of the clock and I could have sworn that hallway light was the break of dawn.  I could have sworn the time said 6 am, not 2 am.  So I swallowed my pills thinking I’d snooze for a few minutes before I had to wake up Mica to get ready for school.  I was at the apex of a very intricately narrated “movie” dream, when suddenly I was jolted awake.  The meds had kicked in and it was time to get on with the day.

Except…it was 2:30 am.

I’ve been working a lot on immigration case work for my husband lately, so I had plenty to do to occupy my time.  But I worried I’d run out of energy mid-day and be out-of-sorts when the twins (and older girls) needed me the most.  Fortunately, I was able to direct my hypomania into my work during those early morning hours, and even throughout the day, going to the grocery store before anyone in the household was even away, preparing breakfast, cleaning house, and playing hopscotch, painting with the twins and cooking and having a picknick supper outside.  The most trouble I had was lying still when the babes were ready to cuddle.

It’s 8:55pm now.  I’m starting to get tired.  Not sleepy, though.  Just tired.  I’ll take my night meds and rest again and maybe tomorrow will be…just as good.

(written 6/1/2016, Twins 23 months, Mica 8, Hope 7)

Double Talk Quote: “It was a surprise!” – Tia (Hope’s mom) announcing her new pregnancy.  Why am I not surprised?  Congrats to me! (jk – kinda)

Bible Verse: “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”  Matthew 6:34

Term that has lost its meaning: creep-o-cat

Relatable Lyrics:   “I Did My Best” by Soul Asylum

“I was waiting for a chain reaction
With a missing link…
…I was tired of being tired
I could not get no rest
So I kept sleepwalking and talking in my sleep
Yes I did my best”

 

Link

Physical Illnesses and Spiritual Ailments

twins sleeping

Physical Illnesses and Spiritual Ailments

Back in March, I started writing a post about sicknesses and ailments.  I wrote:

“Last week everyone in my immediate family (including Grandma), came down with a stomach virus.  It was quite a week, hard and hectic.  I felt like I was losing a very frustrating game of wack-a-mole.  As soon as I’d get one kid down, two more would pop up with tummy explosions and there would be more messes to clean and more comforting to do.  This week, Amor injured his back, and it is bad.  He’s not been this down or out in years…” March 18, 2015 – This is an example of how it had been in our house since last Fall.

Little did I know there was more where that came from.  The very next month, during the week before Amor and I were set to get baptized, every family member (except myself) went through yet another spell of tummy troubles and high fevers.

Then just before an important Church retreat, another family member came down with Lice.  Lice.  Twice.  Really?  I helped her comb the knits out, reminiscent of just a few months ago, when we with through the same thing with Mica and Hope.  Lice twice. (Here’s a past sample of what I’m talkin’ ’bout: https://theearthquakers.wordpress.com/2014/10/29/what-a-week-wednesday/)

Last week was Small Group Rally day at our church.  I was supposed to run one of the booths during all services except for one, during which I usually teach in the 4-5 year olds’ class. But both babies spiked high fevers the night before, so I couldn’t take them to the nursery and therefore was unable to serve.  I took them with me to the rally, wearing them, just kind of hiding out in the back while Amor took care of the human interaction.

Time out paragraph:  I have written a lot, but haven’t published much about my Spiritual vs. Physical thought processes and theories.  See, I don’t want to come across as crazy!  But I do believe there is a Spiritual realm.  That’s scriptural.  But because I have Bipolar paranoia tendencies, I have to constantly test what I’m thinking to make sure it lines up with the Word of God.  (I’m sure this will be linked to future posts dedicated specifically to how I decipher whether I’m being paranoid or whether there is something Spiritual happening.  For now, please trust that “I’m not crazy”, just a Christian with Bipolar Disorder!)  Time in again!

At first, I thought we were just unlucky.  When a sickness comes on any of my 3 kids it always seem to occur on a Saturday afternoon, right after their doctor’s office closes until Monday.  But then I realized that almost all of these ailments, even the illnesses and health problems of our extended family members happened right before a big church event.  There has to be a Spiritual component there.  This was not just physical.

So, I took stock of my own physical well-being over the past year.  I’ve experienced the following non-contagious problems:

  • Anxiety / Panic attacks – which have dissipated fairly quickly upon taking medication and praying (compared to some past experiences).
  • Mastitis (a painful and serious infection breastfeeding women sometimes get) – which came on suddenly one late Saturday night.  My doctor called in a prescription, which would be ready Sunday afternoon.  I went to serve at church anyway, despite the pain and fever.  In the preschool room, my sister, Starla, with whom I teach, laid hands on me and prayed.  I felt the lump dissipate; no need for meds.  All pain subsided by the end of the day.
  • Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) – twice, took over the counter medication & drank plenty of Cranberry juice and it went away on its own without needing medical intervention.
  • Severe back pain -at least twice – treated with heating pad, otc medication and determination.
  • Mania / Hypomania – I’ll take that over depression ANY DAY!

Then I took a good, hard look at all the illnesses that have been through my house over the past year that I have NOT contracted, despite them being highly contagious:

  • Thrush (yeast that babies sometimes get in their mouths, often very painful to breastfeeding mothers) – Bella had it twice, Brooks didn’t catch it at all, amazing!  It was only a bit of a nuisance to me, physically speaking.
  • Lice – twice x2, so four times altogether throughout the house.  I was never infected.
  • Influenza (THE FLU) – everybody had it except me.  Bella’s was bad enough to need a nebulizer.  I had mild symptoms of a cold, that’s it.
  • Several (long) bouts of the common cold.
  • Bronchitis- Grandma got this after catching a cold.
  • Several bouts of stomach viruses – I was nauseated a time or two, but never got sick!

Again back in March I wrote:  “I’ve felt spiritually attacked in a physical way over the past couple of months.  But I refused to let any physical illness get me down!  I am determined to take some ibuprofen, pray, and push through.  Praise God!”

Every time someone has gotten sick, I have settled it within my Spirit that I’m not going to catch that.  I’ve not been afraid.  I have not spoken sickness over myself.  I have not claimed it.  So far, God has protected me from getting seriously sick and I’ve been able to take care of my babies and family members.  It’s like He’s put a protective shield around me.  I won’t boast or say I’m never going to get sick again BUT I can say that, for the first year of my babies’ lives, God’s had my back and kept me going. Amen

Double Talk Quote:  “That was about as long as a Sponge Bob episode.” – Mica after I read her this article (Sorry, I know it was a longgie but a goodie)

Bible Verse: In addition to all this, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.  Ephesians 6:16

Word that has Lost its meaning:  sanitized

Relatable Lyrics: 4 Him “Where There is Faith” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcJ-iEnHn50&index=33&list=PLvTDChO_aBNqeGx4m-6Plh_5WXI0_JG7_  “..There is a peace like a child sleeping, Hope everlasting in He who is able to bear every burden, to heal every hurt in my heart…”

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