Sleep is the key to my sanity. If I can regulate sleep, it’s easier to regulate my moods as well.
I have medication that I take at night and I have medication I take in the morning; and never the tween shall meet. Except they did last night. Instead of my usual regimen of Ambien, Abilify, and Lamictal, I skipped the first two, opting to take 1/2 of a Seroquel instead (my doctor is okay with me doing this on occasion). I had felt a bit of hypomania coming on so I wanted a good night’s rest and Seroquel usually does the trick. I also knew I didn’t have a busy day coming up so I could rest if it made me a bit drowsy.
But…A cat pressed his way through the door, which was pulled-to but apparently not closed and the hallway light was on. I woke up in a haze, barely able to see. The piercing light was coming from the same direction of the clock and I could have sworn that hallway light was the break of dawn. I could have sworn the time said 6 am, not 2 am. So I swallowed my pills thinking I’d snooze for a few minutes before I had to wake up Mica to get ready for school. I was at the apex of a very intricately narrated “movie” dream, when suddenly I was jolted awake. The meds had kicked in and it was time to get on with the day.
Except…it was 2:30 am.
I’ve been working a lot on immigration case work for my husband lately, so I had plenty to do to occupy my time. But I worried I’d run out of energy mid-day and be out-of-sorts when the twins (and older girls) needed me the most. Fortunately, I was able to direct my hypomania into my work during those early morning hours, and even throughout the day, going to the grocery store before anyone in the household was even away, preparing breakfast, cleaning house, and playing hopscotch, painting with the twins and cooking and having a picknick supper outside. The most trouble I had was lying still when the babes were ready to cuddle.
It’s 8:55pm now. I’m starting to get tired. Not sleepy, though. Just tired. I’ll take my night meds and rest again and maybe tomorrow will be…just as good.
(written 6/1/2016, Twins 23 months, Mica 8, Hope 7)
Double Talk Quote: “It was a surprise!” – Tia (Hope’s mom) announcing her new pregnancy. Why am I not surprised? Congrats to me! (jk – kinda)
Bible Verse: “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:34
Term that has lost its meaning: creep-o-cat
Relatable Lyrics: “I Did My Best” by Soul Asylum
“I was waiting for a chain reaction
With a missing link…
…I was tired of being tired
I could not get no rest
So I kept sleepwalking and talking in my sleep
Yes I did my best”