Think: "You think you can, You think you can, You think you can" & one day say: "You thought you could, You said you could, You knew you could" & thus, at least: you thought you did.

Posts tagged ‘Twins’

Season Of Survival


2015-06-20 dirt road ward cemetary

Time after time, I’ve been approached in random places, by fellow moms of twins and given words of encouragement, affirmation, and advice.  The most common information I have received is, “It gets easier after the first two years.”

Over the past year, I have experienced challenges meeting even my basic physical and psychological needs.  Almost anyone who has given birth will admit that, in the beginning, it’s downright hard.  Sleep deprivation, the sound of crying, and keeping up with the demands of a newborn is not easy and can take a toll on any new mother.

Here’s my equation:  Double that (twins) + 7-year-old daughter + marital challenges + financial difficulties + changing environment (baby Asher leaving, 6-year old Hope becoming like a 4th child to me) + Bipolar disorder & anxiety issues = “God I need your help”

For this season in my life, I’ve had to focus on surviving.  So the dishes didn’t get done.  My family ate dinner.  So the living room floor is littered with toys.  My babies played and learned today.  The clean laundry has been sitting in the basket so long, it may never even get put back into the drawers before worn again.  My family has clean clothes to wear.  There are ants in the kitchen (and bedroom, and bathroom).  At least they aren’t fire ants!  So I forgot to renew my license and I paid the cable bill twice last month.  I got where I needed to go, and the cable refund will help a lot towards an extra expense we have this month.  So I have bruises I don’t know where they came from.  That just means I was working so fast that the pain didn’t even bother me.

I recently made a summer “goal schedule.”  It helps me stay on track and try to balance it all.  Sometimes, I feel like there are just too many balls to juggle and I just have to let a few fall.  And that’s okay.  Right now, that’s okay.  Because seasons change.  Spring follows Winter.  One day… one day soon, maybe even today, the ice will start to melt and the sun will shine and I will slowly but surely emerge from this season of surviving to a season of thriving.

(July 1,  2015 –  twins 1 year old)

2015-06-30 earthquakers twins Micaela Grace

Double Talk Quote:  “I was hoping she (the mom of twins) was going to say it gets better after 6 months!” – Amor, the first time someone told him about the two year marker.

Bible Verse: Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  – 1 Peter 5:6

Word that has Lost its meaning: failure

Relatable Lyrics: Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles

2015-07-01 goal schedule dry erase

(Dry Erase “Goal Schedule”)

Let’s Stay Up and Play

twins play - books funny face
Mommy says, soft and sweet,
“Go to bed, it’s time to sleep…
In your crib, don’t you weep.”
But in babies’ heads here’s what they think:
“I don’t wanna go to bed tonight,
I don’t want a nap today,
I don’t want to go to sleep, that’s right,
Let’s stay up and play!”
Mommy sings a lullaby
“Go to sleep, don’t you cry…
Please don’t whine, just close your eyes.”
But in babies’ minds, they wonder, why? (Porque why)
And “I don’t wanna go to bed tonight,
I don’t want a nap today,
I don’t want to go to sleep, that’s right,
Let’s stay up and play!”
Everybody sing (chorus)
Let’s play all night and day…
Let’s stay up and play!
Hooray for play!
– Written by S. Michelle Ward Mendoza
(November 2008 for Mica, now adapted for and dedicated to Brooks and Bella)
brooks amor smilebella mommy bell
Twins USAearthquakers twins grace Mica crib

All Worth More

mommy babywearing twins

It was 6:00 pm.  Amor had gone to his church group.  Grandma was not here yet.  I was alone with a hungry 6-year-old and two overly-tired, grumpy 8 month old twins.  It had been a stressful day, week, month, year.   I set the complaining babies in their high chairs with Cheerios on their trays and rapidly prepared dinner for Mica and myself.  As Mica ate, I spoon-fed the babies their pureed dinner.  By the time they were finished, they were a mess.  I thought back, “When was the last time they had a bath?  I can’t remember.  That means it was too long ago.”

But to go about bathing them one by one without help would be challenging, especially considering their moods.  I had a baby jumper that can be hung from a door seal, so I tried to put Bella in that, but she was not having it!  So I put her aboard the “mommy train” (meaning I tied her up with a baby carrier to my back) and gave Brooks a bath.  Just as I was finishing up with him, the door-bell rang.

Oh, I forgot I was selling the baby swing that they had outgrown on Craigslist.  It was getting closer to 7pm, the time the mommy buyer was supposed to arrive, she must be early.  Still wearing Bella, I put a naked and oppositional Brooks down in the crib.  I opened the door, but to my surprise, it was a little boy, fundraising.  I hurriedly looked for a dollar for the semi-worthy cause.  “We accept checks, too” the kid called from the doorway.  “I’m sorry, I don’t have the time (or the money, I thought to myself) to find a checkbook and write you one of those,” I stated above the sounds of babies fussing.

After that, I quickly dressed Brooks and took Bella off my back.  Grandma came but hadn’t eaten dinner yet.  So I strapped Brooks on my back, and checked the weather so Mica could pick out her clothes for the next day.  I strapped Bella to the bath seat just in time to hear, “Ding Dong.”

“Can you give me a hand?”  I asked Grandma.  “I just need you to sit in the bathroom with Bella for a minute.”  I sold the swing and returned to wash Bella.  Then I got her ready for bed and took Brooks off my back.  As I tandem nursed the twins, Mica read her library book to me.  Bella fell asleep but Brooks was still wide awake.  I sent Mica to brush her teeth, put BellaBoo down in her crib and put Brooks in an exersaucer in the kitchen, so I could clean up from their dinner.  To keep him calm, I put a serving of cheerios there for him.

I swept the floor, wiped the counters and high chairs and washed the dishes, all the while, swiping bites here and there from my now-cold plate of food that had gone uneaten during dinner time.

I was wiped out and still had to put Mica to bed.  I was almost finished cleaning when Brooksies started making the manly grunting sound he makes when he wants my attention.  “What is it, Baby?”  I asked tenderly.  He put his little hands together, making the sign for “more.”  He’d never done that before.  Usually, he would bang his arms and fuss.  I looked down and he was out of Cheerios.  “Do you want MORE?” I asked, making the sign with my own hands.

The biggest smile lit up his face.  Again, he signed “More!”  He looked so proud of himself.  My heart filled with joy over something so small and yet so significant to me.  He was so happy to show me what he’d learned!  He was so thrilled that I understood him!

That was such a stressful night, day, week, month, year.  Since then, I’ve become much more adept at getting through meals and bath time alone.  But it’s those tiny moments that makes being a mommy worth it!  “More” was totally worth it!

Double Talk Quote:  “Hong on! I mean Hang in! I mean…” car swerves – Grandma (quote from my childhood when she had 3 little ones and a severe case of Mommy Brain)

Bible Verse: “Beware that you don’t look down on any of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels are always in the presence of my heavenly Father.”  Matthew 18:10 

Word that has Lost its meaning:  Necklace (replace with “that really cool toy that mommy’s wearing around her neck that I MUST grab and pull and chew.”)

Relatable Lyrics: “Hold on, I’m Coming” by Sam & Dave

babywearing brooks Micaela Bella

Big Sissy

- Big Sissy -

I knew that having babies would have an effect on Mica. I knew she’d be excited but that there would be many adjustments to make. I knew it would be difficult for her to go to bed on her own and get herself ready for things in a timely fashion. But she has done surprisingly well with both of those issues, considering the bad habits we had tolerated for so long (sleeping in our bed, dawdling, etc.). I also knew she’d get very bored, which I was right about, too. For the first couple of weeks after the babies arrived, she ever so patiently put up with being cooped up in the house with two screaming infants without complaint. I guess it was due to the excitement and newness of it all. But then, welcome to boredom city! I enrolled her in VBS (but then forgot to take her, oops), sent her to the library with Grandma, encouraged her to read and watch what she had borrowed from the library, asked Starla to take her to Chuck-E-Cheese’s, played board games and helped her with projects whenever I got a free hand, and allowed cousin Hope to come over. That took care of all of 4% of the boredom she felt. Finally, I turned to Facebook friends for help with this plea: “Mica is going a little stir-crazy. Anyone want to take her for a play date sometime?” and tagged all her friend’s parents in the post. The response was actually pretty good. She went on three play dates this past week and I have another two tentatively planned for next week. I can tell a huge difference when she gets a chance to get out of the house. Now when she says she’s bored, I can remind her of what she’s got coming up. If she just can’t wait until then, I tell her to clean something, or practice her school work. That usually stops the complaint for a while.

There were two things I did not anticipate from Mica that surprised me. I knew that she would take the role of “big sissy” seriously. I just didn’t realize how seriously. From the moment she met them, it was like she was a little mommy, instinctively knowing exactly what to do, from how to hold them, to soothing their crying. She is the best helper ever! If anything, she is too over-the-top with her mommying antics. She wants to kiss them all the time, hold them all the time, change their diapers, pick them up whenever they cry and feed them herself. “Herself” is a very important word. It’s as if she gets insulted when anyone tries to help her take care of them. At only one week, she believed herself an expert at carrying them around. We would let her try, as long as she had someone to “spot” her, usually Amor. But she would get so aggravated and complain that Daddy was always “snatching the baby” from her. One night she begged to pick up Bella and bring her to me. Amor insisted on spotting her and Mica agreed on the condition that he not snatch her. Well, sure enough, Amor didn’t think she was doing it right and tried to take Bella away from her. I could tell Mica had a good grip on her so I just laughed when she turned away from him, Bella in tow, and started running, yelling “My baby! My baby! My baby!” The next day while at the doctor’s office for a scheduled appointment, we asked him to make it a rule, no picking up or carrying the babies. That way he was the bad guy, not us. It’s doctor’s orders.

The second thing I didn’t anticipate, or even consider beforehand, was the running commentary that Mica creates. She talks nonstop! I can’t determine if this is a new behavior or one I just never noticed before. With her as my only child, I always made a point of paying attention to whatever was on her mind. I want her to grow up knowing that her thoughts and opinions matter. But I’m finding it extremely difficult to focus now. At any given time, I have Amor asking me questions, the TV on in the background, various babies crying with specific needs, my own mind running thoughts, and then there’s Mica’s little voice in the background, filling up any chance of a quiet moment. Her chatter involves 3 methods: copying the noises the babies make, reenacting the thing the baby just did, or translating what the baby is thinking as he or she bellows. That is in addition to voicing her own needs and complaints. With me being so busy with the babies, Amor has been the one more “in charge” of her lately and he has his own way of dealing with her that is much different than my approach. She often comes to me to challenge and complain about him. She is also very adept at the art of debate. Argumentative, dogmatic, and always right… my mom always facetiously hoped for me to have a little girl who was just like me. I guess she got her wish.

Double Talk Quote
: Mica – “Mommy, I was quiet for an hour!”

Relatable Lyrics: “Fireflies” by Owl City

Verse: “A friend loves at all times and a brother (or sister) was born for help in a time of need” Psalm 17:17

Word that has lost its meaning: (to me, anyway) Boring

Written: July 27, 2014 (4 weeks)

Big Sissy 2Big Sissy Kiss

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