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Archive for the ‘Life With Twins’ Category

1. ADD to the Stress

Mica - awww

I have suspected for some time that Mica, my almost 7-year-old daughter, has ADD or ADHD. It is a genetic “disorder” and in runs in both sides of her family.  She has extreme difficulty focusing on and completing simple tasks such as getting ready in the morning and at night, doing homework, eating, and doing chores.  These tasks consume nearly every free moment she has and is stressful not only for her but for those in charge.  It is exasperating as a parent to try to get things accomplished.

The problem was first brought to my attention when she was 4 years old. Maybe I hadn’t noticed before because I was a stay-at-home mom and she was my first child and it was pretty early to notice symptoms.  Looking back on it, we did have a pretty relaxed schedule.  If we got interrupted while doing something, it was no big deal.  In fact I would encourage it for learning purposes.  For example, if we were having lunch together and we heard an unusual noise, we would go “investigate” and just go back to eating later.

So when her preschool teachers said she was on “Mica Time,” I didn’t think of it as much of a problem.  (I even have a song entitled “Mica Time” about how nice it must be to not be worried about time.)  Yes, we experienced some frustrations getting ready but I usually handled it pretty well.  I just made sure she got up early and promised to reward her with a game before school if she was ready early.  We actually had a lot of fun during those days playing hide-and-seek and Candy Land at 8:00 in the morning.

Kindergarten was not as charming of an experience.  I got pregnant and very, very ill during the Fall and stayed sick throughout my pregnancy so it was difficult for me to help her in the same way I had before.  Add to that the increasing responsibilities that come with elementary school, such as homework and the need to be more independent and organized and we ended up with some chaotic days.  Her scholastic grades were excellent but she consistently got “Needs improvement” in the areas of “Completing Class Assignments” and “Uses Time Wisely.”  We were advised to use a timer and play the game “beat the clock.”  That seemed to work well at first but soon became yet another source of stress.

I was determined that this year, 1st grade would be different.  It is different.  Different but not better.

I tried to implement a system that would encourage her to be more independent and reward her accomplishments.  She had a morning and night check-list and timers for each task.  I made her a “Wise Time” chart to try to explain in a visual way that shaving time off remedial tasks would equal more time for play (a concept she clearly grasps but can’t quite achieve).  We gave out reward bracelets for meeting goals and prizes once she collected a certain number.  She had a morning launch-pad she would prepare the night before.  It would have been a great system.

However, the arrival of the multiple babies in the house brought even more opportunities for distraction on all our parts!  It was difficult to follow through because she required so much one-on-one attention to focus.

Although her general pediatrician was unable to definitively diagnosis her, she instructed us to see a psychologist, and her school has started the process of evaluation, which will take approximately 10 weeks.

In the meantime, we’ll just keep on keepin’ on…

Double Talk Quote: “Please stop rushing me.” – Mica says this every day, usually more than once.

Verse:  “Finishing is better than starting.  Patience is better than pride.” Ecclesiastes 7:8

Word that has Lost its meaning: focus

Relatable Lyrics: “Tired of Waiting for You” by The Kinks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLAuxLqln5s

(March 4, 2015 –  twins 8 months)

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Life With Twins, Uncategorized

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Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

EarthQuakers Twins and Asher

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans”

My sister, Sarah and her husband Joe have been living with us for about 8 months. We were both at the end of our pregnancies when they moved in and we’ve enjoyed the support of being moms together for about 6 months. I feel that having her around has been beneficial to me and my children, Mica, Brooks, and Bella. I know it was helpful to her as well to have support for herself and her newborn son, Asher.

Once, my breast milk supply dropped and she graciously pumped extra (as did “Sharin”, a close friend of ours) to help me minimize the amount of formula I had to supplement while I worked to get my supply back up. Another time, she got food poisoning and had to go to the ER. In that case, I did the sharing and got to help take care of my sweet nephew. I think for her, as a new mom, it was nice to have back up. As for me, as a second (and third)-time mom, I would have been bursting with confidence, except for the fact that having twins is a complete game-changer and it took some time for me to find my bearings. So it was a definite plus just feeling like there was an extra person I could count on.

I knew the day would come when they would leave. I knew it would be soon. They told us when they moved in that it would be short-term. I just didn’t expect them to move so far away. See, we had a plan. My family is super close (at least I’d like to think that). So we all decided that grandma, and each sibling and their clan, would move close to one another. Our kids could grow up close to each other and we’d have, kind of a family community. We had even been looking for land together.

Then Joe was offered a job that was located six hours away. The lucrative benefits it offered were irresistible. It is an amazing opportunity for him to advance in his career.

I have a prayer list. I have had one for years and it includes pretty much everyone I know and lists specific areas of concern for their lives. One of my prayers for Joe is that he would find a good job that he enjoys. God is definitely doing a work in their family!

While I am excited for them, I feel like a piece of my heart is about to move two states away. I love Sarah so much. I will miss the way she makes me laugh every day and the silly ideas we come up with. I love having theoretical debates with Joe, especially when we agree about something but one of us plays “devil’s advocate” and the discussion goes on and on just for fun. I will miss his sarcastic sense of humor. But most of all, I will miss watching baby Asher grow and learn and play with my little ones. Now, I know they aren’t moving to the moon, but that doesn’t negate the fact that I will miss them dearly.

I pray for blessings, protection, and salvation over them as they move and for supernatural favor in all they put their hands to do.

I love you Sarah, Joe, and Asher.

PS: Sarah, My only demand respectful request is that you to send me a daily email with a picture attached!

Double Talk Quote: “It shouldn’t be hard to read a map.” – Sarah (who is notorious for being directionally challenged)

Verse: Deuteronomy 28:2-3 “All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God: You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.”

Word that has Lost its meaning: plan

Relatable Lyrics: David Bowie “Changes” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHkrpKYehcI

2/23/15 (The EarthQuakers are 7 months old)

Sarah and Asher

babies meal 1

Category:

Life With Twins, Uncategorized

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Praying for a Parking Space

Mica school

One of the mommies from my church group gave an example of how her mother used to teach her about God when she was little. She said her mother would pray out loud for everything, even simple things like a parking space. This comment made me smile. Here is the story behind that smile:

The twins were born in the summer. My six year old daughter, Mica, had about 7 weeks to enjoy them during her break. I really enjoyed having her around and did not look forward to her going back to school, so as the inevitable season approached, I was sooo not ready.

About Two weeks before school started, I got a generic “Items you will need for this grade” kind of list in the mail. I decided not to go back-to-school shopping just yet, as I had learned the previous year, that each teacher would want something different for her classroom. At the open house I was proven correct so I was glad that I hadn’t gone already because I would have had to go again, however, the open house was held on the Thursday before school started, making me one of those last minute shoppers. I knew the stores would be crazy (being that the back-to-school season is one of the biggest retail opportunities, second only to Christmas).

I was not back in shape at all physically and therefore didn’t feel like I had the energy to go. I was nursing two babies and that kept me pretty busy. I did not have much time to go anywhere before one of them was hungry again. Money was also extremely tight. The teacher had told me that they had plenty of some specific items so I didn’t need to worry about a few things, such as sanitizing wipes and paper reams (I promised to fix her up with a gift card later in the year that she could use for whatever she needed at that time). I also had a friend with a daughter about the same age who had extra of some of the things that I needed, which she kindly shared. So my list was not quite as long, which would save me time and money, so I was extremely grateful.

But, I still had to go to the dreaded store.

We had an appointment of Friday, so I didn’t get a chance to go until Saturday. I braced myself. My plan was to go by myself and get in and out as quickly as possible.

As I approached the store, I thought about praying, “God, please give me a good parking space.” This is something I normally wouldn’t have a reason to do. I usually purposefully park in the back of the lot in order to incorporate exercise into my daily routine. I do try to park close to the cart return, however. I got into the habit of doing that when Mica was small. But this was an extenuating circumstance. I was low on time and energy. I said the prayer but felt slightly ashamed for praying for something so seemingly trivial.

Low and behold, I got a good spot. It was a good thing too because the place was a madhouse and it did take a toll on me to find everything from the list. I even had to ask an employee for a specific kind of yellow folder. There were only two left. There was another mom there looking for the exact same thing so it worked out perfectly. They had plenty of the one very specific kind of composition notebook Mica’s teacher had asked for, and it hadn’t been listed on that first generic list, so I knew that her class would probably be short, so I bought a few extra of those. There was an overwhelmed father there and it was clearly his first experience with back-to-school shopping. “I just need dry erase makers, that’s it, I just need dry erase markers” I heard him say in an exasperated moment of frustration from not being able to find what he needed. I knew where they were so I was able to help him. I ended up walking out with everything I needed and although I was exhausted, I felt accomplished. As I left and another mom in another car waited for me to pull out, I wondered if she had prayed for a good parking space (and hoped she didn’t need a yellow folder).

Only a few weeks later, I found myself in a similar situation. I had a long grocery list and a short time to shop. It was the weekend and the store was crowded. As I approached the lot, I debated about whether I should “bother God” with another prayer. I didn’t feel I had as much justification to need a closer spot this time. So I prayed, “God, If you don’t mind, may I please have a good parking space?” Then I quickly added, “but not my will but Yours be done.”

I ended up in the very last spot furthest away from the store. It was no where near a cart return. “Oh well, I guess God wants me to exercise today,” I thought to myself.

I did my shopping, got the “Are you about done?” phone call from Amor while at the check out and made it back to the car, again exhausted. As I was packing the groceries into the car, I kind of grumbled in my mind about having to take the cart all the way back to the store. I was tempted to leave it there, but thought, “No, that wouldn’t be doing the right thing. Live a life of integrity and all that…” Just as I was wrapping it up, I saw an elderly lady approaching. She seemed to be struggling to push her own cart. She put her few little groceries in the back of her car which was parked directly beside mine. Out of breath, she turned to take her cart back to the store. “I can take that for you.” I said.

God’s will had been done. He put me there to help that lady.

So that’s why I smiled at that comment. God knows what He’s doing, even in the simple things, like guiding me to the right parking space.

Double Talk Quote: While watching PBS on Saturday morning, I said, “I don’t feel like watching how cheese is made.”  Mica says, “How Jesus made what?”

Verse: “…All things work together for good for those who are called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28

Word that has Lost its meaning: Lazy (replace with the word efficient)

Relatable Lyrics: Chris Tomlin – Indescribable https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM5YReFSm0I

(6 months)

Category:

Life With Twins, Uncategorized

Mr. Nobody’s Perfect

Brooks - huh

There is an extra person who lives in our home. No one has ever seen him. But we all feel the mischief of this invisible person. Despite all our efforts, no one can ever catch him in the act. But the evidence that he resides with us is everywhere. Although it can be frustrating, it’s also a bit comical when no member of the household admits to contributing to particular parts of the chaos that exists in our house. So when that happens the only logical explanation is that it is Mr. Nobody’s fault.

Nobody who lives in our home is perfect. We have all sinned and made mistakes. God will be working on each of us until the day we die. All we can do is try to cooperate, try to participate, try to communicate, and try to rely on God to work things out for us. Do your best and let God do the rest.

Meanwhile, our only hope of combating Mr. Nobody’s deviousness is to leave notes to him on the refrigerator door. When frustrations arise, I think it eases the tension. Thank you, Mr. Nobody for being perfect since no one else is.

Double Talk Quote: “Let me tell you what you think.” – Me. Meant to say “…what I think.” Starla retorts, “You would!”

Verse: “…Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone.” John 8:7

Word that has Lost its meaning: Decluttered

Relatable Lyrics: “Don’t Be A Jerk…”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idmRh3dmz_g

Mr. Nobody Mr. Nobody Mr. Nobody1 Mr. Nobody2 Mr. Nobody3

December 2014 (5 months old)

Category:

Life With Twins

A Grateful Heart

The Earthquakers 2

I’ve written before about the way God changed my heart about asking for and accepting help from others. (See the article “Pleas and Thank Yous” https://theearthquakers.wordpress.com/2014/08/29/pleas-thank-yous/).

Since I was a little girl, I have always believed in tithing. At least ten percent of any money I’ve ever made has gone directly toward a Godly cause. Amor agrees with me on this and no matter how tough things have gotten, neither of us have ever even considered not tithing. It just was not an option.

Pregnancy was more expensive than I had anticipated. Because I was carrying twins, I needed an ultrasound every week (sometimes more if they didn’t catch each baby moving with the first ultrasound). I had some insurance, but it only covered basic stuff and had a high co-pay, so those doctor’s visits really added up. Plus our trips to the grocery store were pricy as well. High quality food comes at a premium and I was determined to grow my little babies as big as they could get in the womb regardless of the cost. At about 32 weeks, I was so big that everyday tasks became very difficult. Keeping up with Mica and Hope was pretty near impossible. By 36 weeks, I was bedridden. It was all I could do to get up to pee! So Amor asked for time off work as a restaurant server and was quickly terminated leaving us pretty much penniless. We got by though, by God’s grace.

My whole life, I’ve worried about finances. My family was not well-off growing up and my parents’ fights often had a monetary undertone that kept me wondering, “Are we going to be alright?” No matter how tight things got, we always were. But I think the mentality always stuck with me. That is, until the day Amor got fired. Looking at it from a carnal perspective, this is the one time during my adult life that I should have been the most concerned about money. But I wasn’t. God took that burden from me and replaced it with a reminder, a scripture that both my parents had always stood upon and one that I’ve always heard but never really put my full faith upon: God feeds the birds that are much less significant than I. He clothes the lilies, which are here today and dead tomorrow, with such splendor and glory, not even the wisest, wealthiest man in history, Solomon, was as well adorned (Matthew 6:25-34).

Shortly after the birth of the babies, I joined a mommy’s group at our church. It was incredibly refreshing to have the emotional and moral support of other mothers, at least one of whom has twins herself. During prayer requests, I would often ask for prayer regarding our financial situation. Around mid-November, my sister Sarah and I were running a little late to one of our meetings. When we got downstairs, I noticed a few boxes of “stuff” but didn’t think anything of it, since we were collecting for “Operation Christmas Child” by Samaritan’s Purse to make shoe boxes for children overseas. But at the end of the meeting, the group leader revealed that God had put on their hearts to do an extra service project. They announced that they planned to “adopt” our family for Christmas. In addition, some of the other mommies had gotten together and collected clothes for our babies (which is what happened to be in the boxes). I was overcome with emotion. Tears flooded my cheeks. I don’t remember exactly what I said, except to try to convey how incredibly grateful I was.

Since then, other moms have brought by food, clothes, toys, supplies, and all kinds of gently used goods that have been such a blessing to us. We recently had a huge expense arise with our vehicle, an older model van, which needed some extensive work to pass inspection. We had no problems getting it fixed because so many of our every day needs have been met. Almost all of the twin’s entire winter wardrobe was donated to us. I haven’t needed to buy diapers in over a month! We’ve been given household goods and personal items such as bathroom tissue, laundry detergent, and lipstick. Christmas gifts for my 6-year old have been dropped off or sent in the mail. People from our church brought oatmeal for us nursing moms, breast milk storage bags, nursing pads, and I was even given a breast pump (BEFORE my old one broke down completely)! It just goes to show me that God knows what I need before I do and puts a plan into action.

I am so thankful and grateful to all those who have helped and continue to help. At first, I tried to keep track of who gave what so that I could write thank you cards or send thanks in a message, but with so much variety, and so much given anonymously, that has become impossible.

So I give thanks to God, who is Jehovah Jireh, my provider. Thank You, Father, for blessing me with a wonderful little family, and for my extended family who offers so much love and support, especially in a time of need. Thank You for my church and for friends with open hearts who allow You to work through them. What a blessing it is to have a friend in Jesus.

Double Talk Story: Even as I end this article, I see a car in our driveway, someone else from our church to lend a helping hand. Praise God!

Bible Verse: My God shall supply all my needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Word that has Lost its meaning: worry

Relatable Lyrics: “Thank you for giving to the Lord” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6j_YpZQi-I4

December 8, 2014 ( Mica 6 years, twins 5 months old)

the earthquakers - Micaela

Category:

Life With Twins

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On My Breast Behavior

Utterly sweet

So I took some heat for this photo that I posted on Facebook. After a quickly withdrawn comment, my Friend sent me the following message: “Hey Michelle – I really like that pic of you with both boobs hangin out and all, but don’t you think it’s a little much for Facebook? Maybe I’m old-fashioned but I think that you should keep that one private, or just for family…don’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything – just my opinion.”

This is a photo of me and the twins on Halloween and I had just fed them. They were dressed up as cows and I was wearing black and white, so I thought it was “utterly” adorable. It shows them after they’ve eaten but before I covered my breast back up with my bra. Although there is a lot of cleavage and side-boob in the shot, my nipples are completely hidden by their little heads.

I hadn’t been posting lot of pictures on Facebook (who’s got time) and don’t usually get many “likes” when I do. I limit my FB friends to people I know personally or with whom I have a familial or real life connection. In total, I have 106 Facebook friends, far less than the average 338. There is no one on that list that I wouldn’t breastfeed around. As a matter of fact, I have no qualms about breastfeeding in public (as I have a legally protected right to do – see reference below). I don’t feel like I need a cover that hides my babies’ faces from me either. A simple light blanket or burp cloth that shields their mouths and my nipples is just fine with me and they love the comfort that looking up and seeing mommy’s loving gaze brings.

First, I will address the whole “boobs hangin out” part of the comment. Everywhere you look in our culture, you see breasts. They have become synonymous with our sex crazed culture. Maybe that’s what bothered my friend so much. Perhaps that person has been so inundated with pop culture’s use of associating breasts with sex, that seeing them on display in a public forum being used in an innocent context was unsettling. What’s unsettling to me is that my children are growing up in a world where breasts being utilized for their intended use is criticized but you can’t turn on the TV, drive down the road or stand in a checkout line without seeing revealing imagines of the female body.

Commercials (during Prime Time):

sexy image 2  sexy image

Celebrities:

sexy image 3  sexy image 5
Magazines (at my 6 year-old’s eye level):

sexy image 4  sexy image
Billboard:

sexy image 6

Second, I will address the assertion that my friend “may be old-fashioned”. I believe the opposite to be true. It was only in the advancement of modern scientific discovery and innovation during the 1900s that the rise and fall of bottle feeding occur. Infant formula was advertised and touted as a perfectly equal substitute for breast milk. At the same time, the use of bottles became more prevalent. This is a statement from the National Center for Biotechnology: “Currently, many believe the development and advertisement of infant formula has once again negatively impacted the practice of breastfeeding. Although the breastfeeding rate was 90% in the 20th century, it has decreased to approximately 42% in the 21st century (Gaynor, 2003; Wright, 2007).” Although I’m sure my great, great grandmother would have objected to a bikini on the beach (or even a one-piece), I doubt she would have registered for an “utter cover.”
Check out these beautiful historical images of mothers breastfeeding:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/southerndisposition/25-historical-images-that-normalize-breastfeeding-jlw6
Warning: Below are some more adorable pictures (which I did not post of facebook)- for the squeamish – Look Away!
Breastfeeding  Breastfeeding Bella  Breastfeeding Brooks  Breastfeeding  Breastfeeding  breastfeeding

Finally, my feelings are not hurt. Thank you, Friend, for your concern.

Double Talk Quote: Me to Amor, who had asked how to tell if breast milk was still good while I was distracted washing bottles: “Well, you smell it, you taste it, and if it’s good, eat it!” – instead of saying if it’s good feed it to the babies.

Bible Verse: Exodus 2:7 Then his sister said to Pharaoh’s daughter, “Shall I go and call you a nurse from the Hebrew women to nurse the child for you?” 8 And Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, “Go.” So the girl went and called the child’s mother. 9 And Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, “Take this child away and nurse him for me, and I will give you your wages.” So the woman took the child and nursed him.

Word that has Lost its meaning: Shame

Relatable Laws: NC § 14 190.9. Indecent exposure. (b) Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a woman may breast feed in any public or private location where she is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother’s breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast feeding.

November 23, 2014 (4 months, 4 weeks)

Update:  The Friend who sent me the message was my mother.

Category:

Life With Twins, Uncategorized

8. What a Week – Thrusday Full Circle

super mommies & super babies

Grandma’s sickness seemed to be escalating. Amor had to miss out on sleep again to take Mica to school. I was dead set against going back to the store. Sarah still can’t drive so I was hoping Joe could take her to buy snacks but he took off work because he was sick – well, he had a crink in his neck so severe that he couldn’t turn his head. So the house was full of people, no one in a position to drive.

I looked around for what we have to take to the mommy’s group. We had tons of Tuna and chick peas in the pantry. I didn’t think they’d appreciate that. We had a lot of pancake mix, but that would require too much prep time. After some intense searching, Sarah and I put together a mix of carrots & dressing, celery, and a package of cookies. Done.

I took a deep breath and reflected on the stressful week I’d had. I make it through. We were all weak but alive.  (Written for Oct 23, 2014)

Belle & BellaBelle & Brooks
I wish I could say this week has been easier, but Grandma got sicker, and depressed. This weekend both Hope and Mica got stomach bugs. Sarah, Joe and Asher when out of town. It’s the end of the month and our bank account is dangerously low. Because everyone’s sick or gone, the house has been a disaster. I’m off my bipolar meds, so I don’t feel very safe. My throat is sore and my head hurts. At least it doesn’t itch.

Mica and Rewards
I just keep looking up. I’m trusting God to pull us through and keep me stable and sane. I’m looking at the bright side of things. All this “Murphy’s Law” stuff can be quite amusing if you look at it from a certain angle. Right!?! I live with quite the cast of characters. But I love them deeply and appreciate and cherish all the great moments I do have with each of them.

Red twin smiles 1
Wonderful things about this week:
– Mica waiting for 10 minutes in a tiny section of our half bath after hearing me say I had to use the   restroom, then popping out and scaring the skeleton out of me.
– Bella discovering her foot and even getting it to her mouth.
– Brooks crying because he realized Bella was upset (empathy).
– Asher pooping all over Sarah, twice in a row, then peeing on her when she went to change his diaper.
– Joe catching me rapping with ear buds on when I thought I was alone.
– Being able to do one small thing to help Grandma when she was sick, after all the wonderful things she does to help me.
– All the double-talk quotes I got!

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Life With Twins, Uncategorized

7. What a Week! Wednesday

IMG_20141021_141218

Grandma was still sick so she couldn’t take Mica to school. That meant Amor had to wake up in the middle of his “shift” to take her. He wouldn’t dare make up the sleep, however by missing his regularly scheduled soccer game. We all paid for that later. (The man gets grumpy if he’d denied the basic necessities of life: food, sleep, sex and soccer).

Bella had thrush that I thought had cleared up. But it was showing signs of coming back. I had to sanitize all the bottles and pacifiers and pump parts, again, no easy task. It felt like a repeat of sanitizing all Mica’s stuff from the lice incident, except with baby stuff. I had to put medication on my nipples, which actually made them sorer than I think they had been in the beginning.
Starla came over at about 1pm. I needed to go major grocery shopping. We have been very strapped for cash lately, and those quick meals that sneak up on us have been costly. Amor “runs” to the store quite frequently to buy a chicken or what-not and those visits not only add up financially, but take a lot of time, so I also feel like I’m left with the babies a lot. I figure by planning meals ahead of time and making one big trip, we can save time and money.

It’s been a while since I was the one doing the shopping, plus I went to a new store, so it took longer than I’d hoped. I also bought a cheap vacuum. We had installed carpet in the room before the babies were born and we don’t allow the pets to come in, but somehow, there is cat hair everywhere. When I got home, I asked Amor to put the food away so that he would know what I’d purchased and where it was. But he flat out refused but did offer to take the babies to Tia’s house while I did that. I pumped then spent the rest of the afternoon doing prep work for meals for the next few weeks. I tried out the new vacuum and it was terrible. One more thing to add to my “to-do” list – return to store. I got done around 6pm, just in time for babies and Mica to return. I nursed one baby at a time while simultaneously helping Mica get ready for bed. I popped my head in to check on mom. She asked me for a Diet Mt. Dew. I’d have to go to the store. I reluctantly sent Amor while I tried to keep my eyes open long enough to get my 3 kids to close theirs. An hour later, he returned with the soda, and all the other stuff he said I’d failed to get from the store earlier. So much for making a list and sticking to it.

Far too exhausted for a shower, I fell into bed, as I started to drift off I remembered: Sarah and I were supposed to take snacks for our mommy’s group on Friday. I had completely forgotten about that while at the store.

Category:

Cultural Differences, Life With Twins, Marital Bliss

6. What a Week! The Last of Monday and Tuesday

IMG_20141023_105217

I had to pick up Mica from school early because they found nits still in her hair. Apparently Grandma didn’t get every single one out this weekend. But Amor was still in the shower and there was no one to watch the babies. I considered taking the babies with me, but just as I was putting Brooks in the car seat, Amor came out. I got Mica and went straight to the pharmacy where we ran into a classmate there for the same reason. “I don’t understand how he could have gotten them” exclaimed his mom. Um, me neither?

Back in the van ready to go home – it won’t crank. I saw a female security guard pass and flagged her down, asking for a jump. She called in for help, even though I had jumper cables, apparently, it’s their policy to use the battery box. I waited for what seemed like an eternity. I looked at Mica who kept scratching her head and I could feel my boobs swelling up. Now I actually wished I’d brought a baby or two, or at least a pump. I looked around and saw a guy just sitting in his car. Maybe he could help me. I asked him for a jump just as the second (elderly male) security officer arrived and told him not to worry about it. The man tried charging the van for about 30 minutes while I filled out liability paperwork. (Jeeze, who knew it was so complicated to jump a battery these days!) The van still wouldn’t start. I begged him to jump it from his car. No, no it’s against policy. The first security officer came back and I tried to explain my engorgement situation to her, in hopes that she’d jump it with her car. She was sympathetic and tried, but then she remembered there was a problem with the latch of her hood and she couldn’t get it up. Just then, Amor arrived. He had borrowed a truck, packed up the babies and come to pick us up. Yes…that’s my white (uh, Mexican) knight!
We got home pretty late. We called grandma in for support and they went to retrieve the van (and exchange one of the defective products they had sold me at the store!). Meanwhile, I tended to babies, tried to teach Mica how to essentially do algebra in Spanish (her homework gets pretty complicated sometimes), all while picking nits out of her hair with a flashlight in my mouth or tied to my head.

Really… Where are the reality show film crews? You can’t make this stuff up!

Tuesday Oct 21, 2014
So so very tired. There was some ambiguity about if Mica was going to school today. Her class was scheduled to go on a field trip. I pulled myself out of bed to see what the report would be. She didn’t want to get up, Amor was asleep, and Grandma didn’t feel like taking her (she felt a cold coming on). Ok, so I let her sleep in. It was kind of peaceful from 6:30am to 7. The babies breastfed back-to-back and I got to cuddle each on the bed. Tia showed up. Very unusual, since she’s a night owl and rarely up before 1pm. Bella was cuddle-able but Tia waited for me to finish nursing Brooks (yeah, she plays favorites). Before I got a chance to talk to her the phone rang. It was Mica’s teacher who noticed she wasn’t at school and encouraged me to bring her in just for the field trip. I was on the phone with her when Tia brought a now fussy Brooks back in just as Bella started stirring. I went and got Mica up and fixed Amor some coffee so he could take her to school.
When he returned he told me he had to leave to take the van to get inspected. Déjà vu. Didn’t he spend all day Thursday doing that. He gave me a long story about how it had to be running for a certain amount of time and he’d accidentally turned it off because he didn’t know that and the mechanic was the only one there and etc. It was getting late and I had an appointment later that day so I told him it would just have to wait. I needed his help. I showered!
After my appointment, I came straight home in vain hopes of getting a nap before Mica got home from school. Of course that didn’t happen. We had a church group coming and Grandma was very sick.

I could barely keep my eyes open. I had been feeling a strange sensation for a few weeks. In each moment, I was alert, but looking back, even on a few hours, everything was hazy. Amor would ask, “What have you been doing?” Ummm, I don’t know… surviving?

I came to the realization, that despite all this stress, and that I was handling it well for my condition, I just can’t continue to be this groggy. I feel like the Seroquel helps with my Bipolar disorder but I simply can’t deal with the loss of energy exchange.

Note: please forgive the “free” writing style I’ve been using throughout this series. Just trying to type down this experience and these feelings before they disappear into the past and dissolve into obscurity forever.

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Life With Twins, Uncategorized

4. What a Week – Sunday (and part of Monday)

Love You Mica and Twins

Sunday – “Slept in” until about 5 or 6 am. Busy with the babies in the morning. Couldn’t even make it to church. Joel Osteen was just an advertisement that week. Oh well. Back to work on the clothes and disaster that is Mica’s room. Finally got her clothes organized, put in drawers, and dresses hung up in the closet. Starla came over to clean a bit, and Jeff to mow. Amor and I were exhausted but felt we needed to escape for just a bit. I asked Starla finish making the beds. I was so relieved she could help finish up. Amor and I took the twins to the thrift store so he could find some clothes. Bella and I explored the whole store. There was nothing there for us. We ended up in the little back room with the books and I read a baby sign language book to her. It was sweet. On the way home, we ordered Wendy’s for me, Little Ceasars for Amor, and Sheets gas on the way home. We arrived exhausted some more. I fell into bed just in time to hear foot steps into the house. My baby girl was home! Her hair was cut short. I told her she looked like a movie star. We chatted a bit, but not much, I was falling asleep.

Monday Oct 20, 2014
At 3am, I saw Mica’s book bag that I had washed and sanitized all neatly hung up in its rightful place, set out and ready to go, so I thought she had done her “list” to prepare for the next morning. I was wrong. But I didn’t find that out until I had let her sleep in. I actually went and cuddled her for about 30 minutes instead of making her get up and get ready. So it turned out to be a hectic morning getting ready for school. Both babies woke up during this time and I had to feed and pump while she dawdled. The last item on her morning list is “brush and style hair.” We didn’t get to that before time to leave. Looking back on it, I remember seeing her scratch her head. Starla came at about 10 and told me to take some time for myself. She could stay until 12. Amor had to leave at 12 also, to play soccer, which he refers to as “going to therapy.” He goes 3 times a week, for 2 hour each day. He must shower before and after going. I really just wanted a shower during my free time, but Amor and I had a meeting at 10:30 with a parenting counselor. If he’s going to be a hands-on dad, he needs to be educated but he hates reading with a passion. He has ADD big time and although he is incredibly intelligent, it’s because he is highly gifted, not formally educated. Anyway, the counselor gave us part two of a parenting survey and it took 1 hour and 15 minutes for me to read and make him answer a 20 multiple choice questionnaire. I was aggravated, but knowing that this is just not his “thing” and plus he was a bit sleep deprived, so I took deep breaths and remained calm…

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Life With Twins, Uncategorized