~ super through Christ alone ~

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All Worth More

mommy babywearing twins

It was 6:00 pm.  Amor had gone to his church group.  Grandma was not here yet.  I was alone with a hungry 6-year-old and two overly-tired, grumpy 8 month old twins.  It had been a stressful day, week, month, year.   I set the complaining babies in their high chairs with Cheerios on their trays and rapidly prepared dinner for Mica and myself.  As Mica ate, I spoon-fed the babies their pureed dinner.  By the time they were finished, they were a mess.  I thought back, “When was the last time they had a bath?  I can’t remember.  That means it was too long ago.”

But to go about bathing them one by one without help would be challenging, especially considering their moods.  I had a baby jumper that can be hung from a door seal, so I tried to put Bella in that, but she was not having it!  So I put her aboard the “mommy train” (meaning I tied her up with a baby carrier to my back) and gave Brooks a bath.  Just as I was finishing up with him, the door-bell rang.

Oh, I forgot I was selling the baby swing that they had outgrown on Craigslist.  It was getting closer to 7pm, the time the mommy buyer was supposed to arrive, she must be early.  Still wearing Bella, I put a naked and oppositional Brooks down in the crib.  I opened the door, but to my surprise, it was a little boy, fundraising.  I hurriedly looked for a dollar for the semi-worthy cause.  “We accept checks, too” the kid called from the doorway.  “I’m sorry, I don’t have the time (or the money, I thought to myself) to find a checkbook and write you one of those,” I stated above the sounds of babies fussing.

After that, I quickly dressed Brooks and took Bella off my back.  Grandma came but hadn’t eaten dinner yet.  So I strapped Brooks on my back, and checked the weather so Mica could pick out her clothes for the next day.  I strapped Bella to the bath seat just in time to hear, “Ding Dong.”

“Can you give me a hand?”  I asked Grandma.  “I just need you to sit in the bathroom with Bella for a minute.”  I sold the swing and returned to wash Bella.  Then I got her ready for bed and took Brooks off my back.  As I tandem nursed the twins, Mica read her library book to me.  Bella fell asleep but Brooks was still wide awake.  I sent Mica to brush her teeth, put BellaBoo down in her crib and put Brooks in an exersaucer in the kitchen, so I could clean up from their dinner.  To keep him calm, I put a serving of cheerios there for him.

I swept the floor, wiped the counters and high chairs and washed the dishes, all the while, swiping bites here and there from my now-cold plate of food that had gone uneaten during dinner time.

I was wiped out and still had to put Mica to bed.  I was almost finished cleaning when Brooksies started making the manly grunting sound he makes when he wants my attention.  “What is it, Baby?”  I asked tenderly.  He put his little hands together, making the sign for “more.”  He’d never done that before.  Usually, he would bang his arms and fuss.  I looked down and he was out of Cheerios.  “Do you want MORE?” I asked, making the sign with my own hands.

The biggest smile lit up his face.  Again, he signed “More!”  He looked so proud of himself.  My heart filled with joy over something so small and yet so significant to me.  He was so happy to show me what he’d learned!  He was so thrilled that I understood him!

That was such a stressful night, day, week, month, year.  Since then, I’ve become much more adept at getting through meals and bath time alone.  But it’s those tiny moments that makes being a mommy worth it!  “More” was totally worth it!

Double Talk Quote:  “Hong on! I mean Hang in! I mean…” car swerves – Grandma (quote from my childhood when she had 3 little ones and a severe case of Mommy Brain)

Bible Verse: “Beware that you don’t look down on any of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels are always in the presence of my heavenly Father.”  Matthew 18:10 

Word that has Lost its meaning:  Necklace (replace with “that really cool toy that mommy’s wearing around her neck that I MUST grab and pull and chew.”)

Relatable Lyrics: “Hold on, I’m Coming” by Sam & Dave

babywearing brooks Micaela Bella

Category:

Life With Twins, Uncategorized

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The Writing Job

the writing job mommy writing

I recently applied for a writing job for an online Christian website.  I didn’t get it.  One possible reason why is that my “résumé” was a bit unconventional, due to a large gap in work history (though I still contend that Mommying is the most important job in the world).  Another may be that I didn’t conform my writing samples to the “Lists” for which the site is famous (as are many sites these days, for example “7 steps to a closer walk with God”).  Maybe my formatting was off or my spelling or grammar was incorrect.  Perhaps they were looking for someone more qualified, more experienced, more confident, more humble, more righteous, or more something.  Whatever the reason, it wasn’t meant to be.  But this one thing I know, I must write.

The following are my answers, in conversational form, to the questions from the application:

“Ten years ago, God spoke to me. He told me in no uncertain terms to write. Write. Write what? What does a 22 year old college student have to write about? I didn’t have an answer for that. I do now.

Since that time, I have struggled with Bipolar disorder, addiction, marital conflict, motherhood, and feeling lost in life. I have also been delivered, healed and transformed. Satan has attacked me countless times. He is not only betting against me, he’s actively seeking to destroy me! I know this from scripture AND I know this from the past (I will write “Testimonies” one day). God has called me to do something for Him and Satan has tried all my life to stop this from happening. The irony is, the harder he tries, the more God overcomes and the more testimonies I get.

So, to answer the first question: Why am I the person for this position? Honestly, I don’t know that I am. That’s something that would need to be revealed by God, to the person reading this. What I do know, however, is that I am qualified, experienced, passionate, and anointed to do this. If this is the site for which God wants me to write, I am ready, willing, and able.

What is my favorite subject to write about? I have a blog where I write from a Christian mom’s perspective about God, life, family, and struggles with mental illness. Although I rarely begin writing an article with a particular category in mind, I usually find that they fall into several distinct sections:

  • Bipolar Mommy: I write about my struggle with Bipolar disorder and how it affects my life and those around me.
  • Cultural Differences: My husband and his family are from Mexico and my brother-in-law and his folks are from Israel. Sometimes this leads to conflict but is usually more comedic in nature.
  • Instructions Included: This is practical parenting advice from a mom/psychologist who’s been there and has some ideas that might work for others.
  • Life with Twins: These are mostly stories about, well, life with infant twins.
  • Psych Tips: These articles are a mix of advice on using a combination of basic psychology and the Word of God to help with life struggles.
  • Drum Roll Please: God has graced everyone with a different sense of humor. Sometimes mine pops through in these articles.”

I followed up by giving them a link to my blog, sending 3 writing samples and my résumé (a boring one, not the fun mommy one (https://theearthquakers.wordpress.com/2015/04/04/mommy-resume/).

Although I’m not writing for the site now, I know I’m writing for God because no matter how many readers or supporters or followers I have (or don’t have), it doesn’t mean a thing if He’s not in it.

Double Talk Quote: On a snow day: “That silly school board, they always wait until the last minute to cancel school. – Me    Reply: “It’s b/c they’re board” – Mica (funny, funny girl)

Bible Verse: Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope”

Term that has Lost its meaning: rejected

Relatable Lyrics: “Sea of Faces” by Kutless https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kEZ1mh2jzg (I am not just one of a million faces)

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Life With Twins, Uncategorized

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Hope’s Up

pretty nice fountain downtown hopes up

Standing up for yourself when in an unhealthy relationship is not easy, I know.  I was in an abusive relationship long ago.  I didn’t have children with this man and yet, it was still almost impossible for me to escape.  He had systematically stripped me of my independence and identity.  It took a revelation from God for me to realize how bad it had gotten.  “This is my daughter he is hurting… how would you feel if someone was hurting your child that way?”  That is what he revealed one terrible night during an out-of-body experience, mid-beating.

My sister-in-law, “Tia” and niece, “Hope” live with us now.  I am very proud of Tia for having the strength to finally walk away from domestic violence, infidelity, and abuse.  Hope deserves a better environment.  Tia deserves to be treated with love and respect.

It makes our house a little tight again, but love is that way, tight.

Alarming Statistic:

1 in 4:  The number of women who will be victims of severe violence by an intimate partner in their lifetimes.

Read more here:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/23/domestic-violence-statistics_n_5959776.html

~This MUST change~

Double Talk Quote: “When my mommy and daddy are fighting, I tell them to treat other people the way they want to be treated.” – Hope (wisdom of a child)

Bible Verse: 1 Corinthians 13:4-6  “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;  it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”

Term that has Lost its meaning: another chance

Relatable Lyrics:  “This is the Last Time” by Fuel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWRDCK-Ga7M

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Uncategorized

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Mommy Résumé

one of the best photos of all time

 Mommy Belle

321 WhitsEnd Lane, Bellesboro, Some State, USA 54321          SuperMommyOfTwins@gmail.com

Objective:  Explaining (in a tip-of-the-iceburg sort of way) what “Stay At Home Moms” do all day

Summery:

  • Expert off-spring maker & quality care provider with 7 years of extensive, expensive, and intensive mommying experience.
  • Dedicated wife and mother to 3 awesome children: one 7 year old daughter and a set of 8 month old boy/girl twins.  Aunt to two superkids: one 5 years old, and one 7 months.
  • Proven ability to manage multiple projects while (almost always) meeting challenging deadlines, such as dinner, church and most appointments.
  • Extensive involvement in all levels of child-rearing up to 7 years old.

Education:

– Valedictorian of High School (granted, there were a grand total of 12 seniors, but still…)

– Associate in Arts in Criminal Justice (a degree I’m proud to mention, although I’ve never been on the right or wrong side of the law)

– BS in Psychology (which, in my experience, is what most psychologists spew)

Experience & Skills:

  • Gourmet Chef (but some experience with short order cooking):  Ability to use multiple pots and pans, microwave and oven while simultaneously wearing a baby and ensuring the kitchen does not catch on fire or end up looking like a disaster by the time I am completed.
  • Janitor:  Temporary success from time-to-time completing never-ending cycles of laundry, cleaning floors, sorting and sanitizing toys, and dusting at least once per year.
  • Doctor:  No med school but I know how to fix the boo boos and kiss it all better.
  • Psychiatrist:  I manage my own Bipolar disorder, toggle among my 6 current psychiatric medications depending on current needs.
  • Child Psychologist:  Proven success manipulating motivating children to behave, particularly when others aren’t looking.
  • Teacher:  Have formed the enviable talent of explaining in long, drawn-out detail, extremely monotonous and simple things.
  • Scientist:  Extensive experimenting experience.  Most notably, using vinegar and baking soda for cleaning (and getting the kids involved in scrubbing when they hear “the sound of clean.”)
  • Preacher:  less of a “Brimstone and Fire” type and more of the “What Would Jesus do?” kind.  Relationship building, not religion teaching.
  • Investigator:  Sometimes, just once in a while, it is too quiet, and there is trouble amiss.
  • Police Officer, Judge, and Corrections Officer, I protect & serve and issue verdicts to end the disputes, and execute the sentences (usually time outs).
  • Professional Item Locator:  I know where any piece of any game is, at any given time.  I have the ability to subconsciously make a mental note when I see something out of place and recall its location when someone asks for it later.
  • Organization Specialist:  Use this must-have skill that all moms of multiples must acquire in order to simply survive.
  • Administrator and Administrative Assistant, I schedule and keep the appointments and make the coffee.
  • Event Planner:  How many birthdays and anniversaries there are every year?  In a family this large, more than one.  I handle all that with ease.
  • Author and Editor:  Have narrated and rewritten countless stories I have learned or made up, and continually recount events from my own life adding questions and morals.  Also must make time to write prayer journals and in baby books, so as to never forget.  Blog to express feelings and connect with others.
  • Computer and Electronics and Washing Machine Repair Person:  I can turn the computer off and back on again.  I can install a light bulb without getting shocked.  I can kick the machine ’til it works.  And that’s how that works.
  • Plumber:  Own plunger too.  And a homemade sink snake.  And a pipe wrench just in case.  I didn’t have fancy insulation, so I duct taped old towels to the water heater to save money.
  • Chief Fiscal Manager:  The bills get paid and the buck stops here.
  • Risk Examiner Specialist:  To determine how much insurance we need, usually just a helmet.
  • Singer / Songwriter: Children must fall asleep somehow / My children spark my inspiration (although I need a collaborator since I have lyrics but can’t write the music, I hear it in my head).
  • Actor / Entertainer:  Most of the time, I don’t feel like doing it, but it must be done so I slap on a smile and enthusiastically jump in and do what needs to be done.
  • Drill Sargent:  Use to combat defiance during periods of homework or chores – a last resort strategy.
  • Chauffeur:  Drive everyone everywhere, install all car seats correctly.
  • Personal Shopper:  Professional thrifter.  Main purchaser of things needed for self – times shopper for everyone else in the family.

Availability:

Available to work 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th shifts, capable of holding one baby and wearing the other during bathroom breaks.  On call during all other hours of the day/night.  Except when expected to service husband.

Compensation Expectations:  Far above rubies

(March 14, 2015 –  twins 8 months)

Double Talk Quote: “It must be nice to just stay at home all day” – said the idiot  “Yes, I love laying around eating bon-bons and watching Judge Judy while the kids feed, teach, and love themselves and the house magically becomes clean.” – replied the smarty-pants stay-at-home-mom.

Bible Verse: Proverbs 31:10-31 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies...”

Term that has Lost its meaning: career move

Relatable Lyrics: “The Mom Song” by Go Fish https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6nuB37MHko – This is a MUST LISTEN if you are a mom!

2015-03-20 kids earthquakers  earthquakers twins asher

Cat in the Hat 2015-04-02 Mommy resume

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Drum Roll Please, Life With Twins, Uncategorized

4. I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do: Double Rainbow Wedding

 I Do wedding shoes and flowers

…Praise God, North Carolina issued us a marriage license. But that presented yet another problem:  We had to get married in North Carolina but we had already booked and put down a deposit on the SC venue and invitations had already been sent out.  We could go back to the Justice of the peace (again) and exchange vows at an NC court before the wedding, but that would give us yet a 3rd anniversary date!  We really wanted the wedding and corresponding legal document to be October 7, 2012, exactly 7 years since our 2nd vow exchange.

So we spoke to the pastor.  His church is actually located in North Carolina, right above the NC/SC boarder.  The beach resort where we were to have the wedding was only located about a half hour to 40 minutes away from the boarder.  The pastor agreed to officially marry us at his church in North Carolina, in the wee hours of the morning, before his church service that Sunday, and then meet us in South Carolina at 3pm for the wedding ceremony, where we would exchange vows, again, for the 4th time.  We needed two more (real life) witnesses, so this time, I enlisted the help of my other sister, Starla and her husband-to-be, Jeff.

So the day of the wedding, we got up early and headed north.  We said our quick and legal “I Do’s”, signed the paperwork.  Then,  we headed back down south to quickly get ready to renew the vows we’d just made.

DSC_0129 I Do

Because much of the wedding party and professionals were coming in from out of town, we were unable to have a rehearsal, so there were a few glitches but nothing that bothered me or Amor (but it may have irked Grandma, the perfectionistic organizer, just a little bit).  Mica, Hope and a dear friend, “Sharin’s” daughter were my flower girls.  I couldn’t pick a sister to be my Maid of Honor, so Mica played that role as well.  She even got to add to the ceremonial sand.  It was a precious and treasured family memory.  Our pastor’s wife, whom I’ve admired since I was five years old, read 1 Corinthians 13, which describes the attributes of love.

DSC_0161 I do DSC_0072 I Do

Having an actual wedding, with close friends and family in attendance was a fairy tale dream I never thought would occur.  The color scheme was rainbow, which is quite symbolic, in and of itself.  I had worked extensively with the DJ on the music.  The reception was a disco/karaoke type party which included music in both Spanish and English and a lot of colorful lights, glow sticks and bubbles.  (I’ve always preferred fun over elegance anyway.)

DSC_0048 I Do DSC_1093 I do

At the end of that exhausting, yet exhilarating day, there we were.  We had traveled a long journey.  From our first meeting in 2000 to being officially and legally wed in 2012 and all the ups and downs in between, and all the ups and downs to come, we felt the presence of God on that beach.  And He’s still right here and He’ll never let us go.

Since then, Amor has mentioned having yet another wedding in Mexico some day for the friends and family on his side that were unable to attend here.  I guess a 5th “I do” wouldn’t hurt.  It would give the twins the opportunity to add some ceremonial sand too!

DSC_0221 I Do

Double Talk Quote:  “It went off with a ‘hitch’,”  instead of “without a hitch”- Me to Grandma when thanking her for making all this possible.

Verse:  “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 1 Corinthians 13:7

Term that has Lost its meaning: happily ever after

Relatable Lyrics: “Song of Love” by Rebecca St. James https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFMtVls5pzc

(March 21, 2015 –  twins 8 months)

*Thank You, dear friend, Cheree Johnson for the awesome wedding photos*

 

Category:

Cultural Differences, Drum Roll Please, Marital Bliss, Uncategorized

3. I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do: Red Tape

I Do 2012 Amor y corazon Micaela

…Fast forward several years, we’d had a daughter, my father had passed away, I had been institutionalized, but had stopped self-medicating with alcohol and was on a decent bipolar regimen.  Amor and I had begun focusing on putting our priorities straight and making God number one in our lives.

Grandma actually got some money from an inheritance and kindly offered to throw me and Amor a Wedding.  We were ecstatic!  It’s something we had wanted for some time but had always found something higher up on the priority list to pay for.

If we had our wedding on October 7, 2012, which fell on a Sunday, we could renew our vows on the beach exactly 7 years since our second vow exchange.  The only glitch was – our marriage still wasn’t legal.  Since his former wife had fled the country a decade earlier, and was no where to be found, Amor had never officially divorced her before marrying me.

We had two options:

  1. Pay a private investigator in Russia to locate Amor’s (technical) wife, get the divorce documents professionally translated, have the Russian government officially serve her the papers if they could find her, pray she would sign, professionally re-translate the documents and finally, get a judge to sign off on the divorce decree despite the wife being physically absent OR
  2. Get an attorney.  Pay a local newspaper where she was last known to reside to print a daily legal notification for 30 days.  Then she would have a certain amount of time to contest.  If she didn’t object and it was determined by a judge that she couldn’t be found, he may sign off on a divorce decree without her signature.

We chose option number two, which though was expensive, was not as costly, nor as complicated nor time consuming as option one.

So with the divorce finalized, Grandma, our wedding coordinator, started planning the big day.  We booked a venue at a beach in South Carolina, near the NC/SC boarder where Amor and I used to live and therefore had friends and extended family nearby.  Things fell into place quickly and as the big day approached, we scurried to get things in order.  I contacted my cherished childhood pastor and his wife, with whom I had kept in contact over the years, to officiate the wedding and they were happy to oblige.  The ceremony would be a vow renewal but would, in effect, also finally make our marriage legal.

About a month before the wedding, we went down to meet with them and finalize all the details.  Everything was falling into place except…

the great state of South Carolina refused to issue us a marriage license!  One of the forms of identification we needed to provide in order to obtain a marriage license in South Carolina was expired. Freak-out, panic, and anxiety flooded me!  We had an alternate form of identification issued by North Carolina but for whatever reason, SC wouldn’t accept it.  All I could do was pray that the NC would issue us a marriage license…

I do - Amor y corazon beach 2010 Micaela

Double Talk Quote: “I’m almost done with the “I Do” series, I’m just missing one quote.” – Me to Amor. “Which one?” he asks.

Bible Verse:  “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

Word that has Lost its meaning: finalize

Relatable Lyrics: “La Playa” by La Oreja de Van Gogh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-i-b0NlFHA

(March 21, 2015 –  twins 8 months)

***Thank You Starla Ward (https://starlabward.wordpress.com/) for the above professional photos***

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Cultural Differences, Drum Roll Please, Marital Bliss, Uncategorized

2. I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do: Legally Married?

I do Amor y Corazon colage

…So after having exchanged vows online, before God and Dick Wolf, we saw ourselves as married.  Amor bought me an inexpensive ruby heart shaped gold ring and we lived together for a hunky-dory few months.  But eventually, our families started asking questions.  Fed up with fielding them, I admitted, “We got married.”

My folks had an idea of how I felt about being an independent woman and were shocked to hear that we had “eloped” as they put it.  I offered few details and they asked surprisingly few questions.  Belle was now Mrs. Belle and that was that.

It was around this time that we moved four hours inland to be closer to my family.  I had finally gotten an official “Bipolar” diagnosis and I wanted to be near my sisters and parents who, I hoped, would be a source of support.   I knew that eventually, it would come out that Amor and I had no legal document stating that we were man and wife.  So we went to the courthouse to try to make it legal, only to learn we needed certain paperwork and witnesses (real ones, not TV characters).  So I explained to one of my sisters, Sarah, in as little detail as I could, that due to certain paperwork, we needed to restate our vows to make our marriage legal (all true).  She and Joe were happy to help.

So we gathered our documents and on October 7, 2005 (exactly 6 months later) we finally made it downtown with everything we needed.  I don’t even recall what I wore.  It felt like just another day to us.  We were pronounced “man and wife” by the magistrate and a few days later got our certificate in the mail.

The following year (2006), I was doing some different paperwork at a government office.  I had been on a litany of psychiatric drugs to try to find something to help manage my bipolar, and I was feeling “out of myself,” so Amor was with me.  They asked for my anniversary date and I said, “It’s April 7th or 8th”  “No, it’s sometime in October,” Amor reminded me.  “Oh yeah, I think it’s October 7th, 2005,”  I said.  The lady looked at me, like I was clearly mentally unstable (ok, I was).  “Um today is October 7th, 2006.  Are you telling me you are here on your first anniversary and you don’t even realize it?” Sigh, I guess so.  Whatever, we had celebrated back in April!

So finally, it was all settled, right?

One more detail that we, being young and impetuous and a bit screwed up in the head, neglected to take care of:  Amor never legally divorced his first wife who had left him for Russia after just two months of their legal marriage and never returned.

Spending time, money and effort to find and serve her papers was not high on our priority list.  As time marched on, we eventually bought a home and had a baby and put the whole mess in the back on our minds.

But those kinds of things have a way of sneaking back up to you..

Double Talk Quote: “Love you later” – Amor still says this (mix of “love you” and “see you later”)

Bible Verse:  “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” Proverbs 19:14

Word that has Lost its meaning: settled

Relatable Lyrics:  “Silly Love Songs” by Paul McCartney https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I77JyDu0HVU

(March 20, 2015 –  twins 8 months)

***Update Note to clarify***  Amor’s 1st wife had moved to Russia 2 months after they got married.  He followed her and lived there for a few months in an attempt to save the marriage.  When it didn’t work out, he returned.

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Cultural Differences, Drum Roll Please, Marital Bliss, Uncategorized

1. I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do: The Proposal

I do - Amor y Corazon

Amor and I have exchanged vows four times.  That’s right four times.  Why? one might ask.  Well, it isn’t because we enjoy expressing our undying love for one another.

15 years ago, I was in a domestic violence type of relationship with a bad man.  Long story short, I got away and made up my mind that I would never again be under that kind of abusive power.  I developed a “I am woman, hear me roar” type of attitude.  I wanted children some day, but coming from that relationship and having had experienced the heartache of a broken home growing up, kids and family were not foremost on my mind.  I decided that I would never get married.  It was an antiquated institution anyway.  That’s what I thought.

I was conflicted about it, however, because, although I lived a rather worldly life at the time, I was still a Christian and still held certain values.  I liked to drink alcohol and have fun, but I did not sleep around.  Since before I was old enough to know what it was, it had been engrained in me that sex outside of marriage is a sin.  If you must have sex, get married.  (Hum, that theory hadn’t worked out so well with the first relationship I was in).  So celibate I remained.

I was not a “good girl,” though, and I actually found it fun toying with boys.  I was a hot, blond bomb-shell type who lived at the beach so I had plenty of opportunities to flirt around and make the male tourists think they’d get some action, just to say “adios” after they had invested their whole evening with me.  This was my way of getting back at all males (especially the self-proclaimed “playars”) for being jerks.

I had a lot of guy friends.  Amor was one of the best of them.  During the first three years we knew each other, he actually got married to a Russian woman and moved to a different hemisphere.  When it didn’t work out and he returned, I started to realize that we’d be good together.  I loved that he had such a giving heart and we were both very hard workers and worked well together.  (Someday I’ll tell that back story entitled “Yellow and Green Skittles”).  So Amor and I started dating and eventually, “messing around.”

But I felt convicted so I told him:  “We have to get married.”  This was about 11 pm on April 7, 2005.  We were both a little tipsy.  I was also rapid cycling (on a bipolar roller coaster ride) during this time and was blissfully yet painfully oblivious to that fact.  So I grabbed an old prom dress I just happened to have in my closet and we went to the downstairs level of my little apartment.  I did a quick “Ask Jeeves” search on the interweb for getting married online.  We exchanged our vows by typing them in to the computer.  There was a prayer and then a certificate appeared.  I printed it out.  It had room for 4 witness signatures.  No one else was there.  Law & Order SVU had been playing, on mute, in the background so I wrote in the names Olivia Benson, Eliot Stabler, Ice-T, and Jack McCoy.  Done.  We went back upstairs to enjoy our honeymoon…

Double Talk Quote: “I’m trying to remember the Sabbath and keep it Holy.” – Me 10+ years ago, “But Michelita, you violate it already…long time ago.” – Amor, whose English wasn’t quite as awesome as now, but yielded some awesomely funny quotes.

Verse:  “…But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.” 1 Corinthians 7:28

Word that has Lost its meaning: tipsy

Relatable Lyrics: “Viveme” by Laura Pausini https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ_o_uEmzoE – dedicated to mi Amor

(March 17 2015 –  twins 8 months)

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Cultural Differences, Drum Roll Please, Marital Bliss, Uncategorized

Think Big and Be Big

you're just like me2 twins

Just before putting his foot in his mouth, Fred Flintstone tells himself “Think big and be big, think big and be big, think big and be big.” Although the episode ends in him feeling pretty small, it’s because his “think big” attitude is based in pride and pretension.

I love the quote, however, because when used in a healthy way, it can promote confidence and positive mental health.

In 2007, I began writing affirmation cards for myself.  They include 3-4 positive, encouraging and self-affirming sentences.  Over the years, as my faith in God has increased and the realization that all the powers I hold within are from Him, I have revised them extensively to incorporate scriptures and Biblical principals in them.  I call them my “Think Big” cards.

These cards were inspired by the Lord, as I would do my devotions in the morning.  I’ve never tried to write one.  In the beginning, I wrote them for the sole purpose of motivating myself.  But after seeing both Grandma and my sister, Sarah struggling with depression, I started lending them out.  I even typed a few samples and put them on “to-go” rings for their keys.  I believe these revelations could be helpful to anyone but could especially benefit people of faith who struggle with low self-esteem,  or mental illness, or have problems with life direction.

Over the years, as I’ve struggled for freedom, I believe (at least I hope) that I’ve grown in the Lord.  I’ve written 3 rounds of the cards over time.  I guess you could equate the messages with strategies to manage money.

1.  “Think Big” cards focus on getting out of emotional debt.  Sometimes, especially with mood disorders in particular, it feels like you’re drowning.  These affirmation + scripture combinations focus on adjusting your life view and actually seeing the positive aspects of your life.

2.  “Think Bigger” cards focus on managing day-to-day life and increase capacity to take care of yourself while incorporating God as the number one priority.

3.  “Think Biggest” cards focus on building emotional wealth.  They are about going a step beyond yourself and reaching out to others to bring God glory.

I know I’m not the only one who could benefit from this.  It needs to be shared.  One day these cards will be published and they will be a life-changing blessing to someone who is in emotional need.  My hope is that they will bless many people.  I can see them in print and on peoples’ key chains.  I can see them as a phone app that people read and reread 3-5 times a day.  I can see them meaning something to someone.  Not just me.  I am not alone.  This.  This could would should will happen.  Amen?

 

Double Talk Quote: “That cat roared at me.” – my 5-year-old, bilingual niece, Hope

Verse:  “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”  Romans 12:2

Word that has Lost its meaning: pride and pretension (hopefully)

Relatable Episode: summery here: http://www.tv.com/shows/the-flintstones/the-masquerade-ball-59978/

(March 10, 2015 –  twins 8 months)

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Psych Tips, Uncategorized

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3. Livin’ on Mica Time

Micaela happy

Livin’ on Mica Time

Scurry out of bed, No time to rest my head

Gotta be somewhere, No time to brush my hair

Hurry up and wait, There will be trouble if I’m late

 

Only 24 hours in a day, In this dimension anyway,

But appointments, schedules, and deadlines, don’t exist (don’t exist)… In Mica Time!

 

It’s Nice, It’s fun, It’s downright awesome, Livin’ on Mica Time.

To be so free, It’s so darn easy, Livin’ on Mica Time.

It’s tried it’s true, It’s good for you, Livin’ on Mica Time

Relax and just enjoy the ride,  There’s no pressure… on Mica Time (…on Mica Time)

 

Endless possibilities, No limit to imagination

There’s no such thing as being late,

on time, early, or wait

(Chorus)

If only the rest of the world would catch up & live on Mica time!

 

(Note to Mica:  I’m going to need some help with the music part of all these songs I come up with, so keep tinkering with that piano baby!)

Double Talk Quote:  “Oooh, mommy, can we match wearing mismatched socks?” – only Mica

matching mismatched socks

Verse:  “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” 2 Peter 3:8

Term that has Lost its meaning: 24/7

Relatable Lyrics: Patience (Herbert the Snail) – Music Machine:  The Fruit of the Spirit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kn6Z2Mop5I&list=PL38ACE7EA0DE0E420&index=12 (Agapeland Music)

Another note to Amorcita, I’ll love you and keep you forever and always for all eternity plus longer than infinity and beyond the end of all time!

Mommy Belle Micaela snow

Category:

Uncategorized