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Archive for the ‘Life With Twins’ Category

Struggle to Juggle: Writing

Baby Books and Prayer Journals

I have so much to write.  I love writing my blog and I have so many open drafts, so many ideas of what I want to write, but so little time.  But there is so much more writing I need to do and I’m feeling the pressure to update those things as well as my blog (esp. my “Mommy Resume”.

  1.  My prayer journal:  I’ve been writing prayers – pen to paper for over a decade.  Over the last few months, I’ve been typing or saying prayers but it just doesn’t feel the same as when I sit down with a blank book and chicken-scratch a “Dear God” letter.  There’s no auto-correct.  There’s no editing.  There’s no outline.  And there’s no right or wrong thing to write.  I just pour out my heart and I feel closer to God.  So I’ve been getting up earlier and earlier to try to feel that closeness.  When I’m not interrupted by an early morning rising baby, it’s such a fulfilling feeling to just scribble my thoughts to the Lord in the morning.
  2. Baby Books:  Mica’s baby book is a masterpiece work of art.  It contains drawings we did together and detailed stories from when she was little, with added pages, tailored to show her uniqueness and just how special she is to me.  It is a beautiful exhibit of her character as a baby, and mine too, as a first-time mom.  The twins each have baby books.  I knew it would be challenging to keep up with two, especially considering the time and effort I put into Mica’s.  I definitely have some updating to do there!  With so much going on and so little time, I find myself throwing sticky notes and drawings in the books.  I really need to go through and organize those things, and actually write in them.
  3. Birthday Letters:  On each child’s birthday, I’m supposed to celebrate, make a cake, throw a party, and be exuberant and enthusiastic (regardless of my mood or energy level).  I have also put it upon myself to write an extremely heartfelt card, not to be opened for 18 years (or “when the time is right”).  With four to write for (and two in one day), it can be a lot. These are not just well wishes.  These are spiritual blessings and hopes and dreams for my children’s futures.  Each is unique.  Each is special.  I cry tears of emotion, joy, and sentiment over each.
  4. Immigration:  Amor, my husband, and I have an immigration case pending.  He is from Mexico and is seeking permanent citizenship.  Much of his case resides on my written brief.  For the longest time, we were waiting on the Government for the forms we filed to be processed. The case is currently awaiting my input.  It’s time to get around to that.
  5. Snail Mail:  Who sends good, old-fashioned snail mail anymore?  Me!!!  Well, it’s mostly drawing or collages.  But still, it takes time to put together, write little comments and the addresses, etc.  I send them mostly to my sister but like to surprise other family members from time to time.
  6. Business:  Don’t you just hate calling a big corporation and talking to a machine?  Then after 5 or 10 minutes, you finally get someone on the line and the accent is so thick and the connection so terrible, you can’t communicate?   I’ve gone through this so much and wasted so much time and aggravation.  I usually sit down and write to customers service when I have a complaint with a company.  If they don’t have an online chat or email center, again, I use snail mail.  I usually get results that way with less frustration.  (I get anxiety from talking on the phone anyway, often, even with people I know.  It’s a strange Bipolar-related symptom).

I’m juggling a lot.  Writing is just one of the balls I have in the air. It’s one of my favorite balls to catch, especially due to its therapeutic properties, but it’s hard to keep up with.  There are more pressing issues I have to attend to:  making sure my children are well cared for and also leading them in the path of Jesus, taking care of my marriage, keeping house, grocery shopping and bills, keeping up with friends, helping neighbors, etc.  But I’ll find time.  Lord knows, I have plenty of inspiration. I’ll find time to make it a priority.

(March 17, 2016 –  twins 1 1/2, Hope 6, Mica almost 8!)

Double Talk Quote: “There’s a hair” – Mica, meant to say chair

Bible Verse: “See what large letters I use as I write to you with my own hand!” – Galatians 6:11

Word that has Lost its meaning: Finished

Relatable Lyrics:  “Under Pressure” by Queen

“Chippin’ around, kick my brains ’round the floor
These are the days – it never rains but it pours…

Insanity laughs under pressure we’re cracking
Can’t we give ourselves one more chance?”

 

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Life With Twins, Uncategorized

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Last Words

Starlagraph flower painting

Starlagraph painting by Starla Karnes, www.starlaward.com

If these were my last words
What would they be
These blessings for loved ones
That live on with me
When my body is dead
And my eyes cannot see
And I can’t hear what’s said
But my soul lives and breathes

“Last Words”

To my little ones, If my heart ever breaks
I want you to know, that each beat it ever made
Was for you, and so, if is does suddenly stop
My love still exists in every tear drop
That falls from your beautiful, precious eyes,
And in every sprinkle of rain from the sky,
And in every flower which that water feeds,
And in all the air which that plant helps you breathe;
And every time you wish I was alive,
You’ll realize that I still live deep down inside
And every time you feel yourself forming that tear,
I beat in your heart and you know, I’m right here.
I love you

August 7, 2003

MW

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Life With Twins, Uncategorized

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Five Under Five

Los Tornados 2

Los Tornados – Leti’s three

 

It was January 2011.  It had literally been days since my father passed away when I learned that my sister-in-law, Leti, had been assaulted by her significant other, again.  Amor made the four hour trip to pick her and her three children (ages 4, 2, and 8 months) up.  The trip back to our home was much longer, as there was a throw up incident on the way, (which ruined the portable DVD player).  Mica was 2 at the time and I was used to caring for her and Hope, who was 1.  I was pretty used to keeping things like toys organized, categorized, and rotated.  But with the addition of three toddler/preschoolers (who only spoke and understood Spanish) all that went to Hades in a hand basket.

Los Tornados 3

Mica & Hope

It was freezing outside so we were cooped up most days with five kids under the age of five inside our small, three bedroom home.  For the first few weeks, Leti spent time cooking and hanging around the house, catching up with her sister (my other sister-in-law), Tia.  All the while, the kids ran wild.  It was a madhouse and I was certainly not used to that kind of chaos.  With Mica and Hope, I had a relaxed routine, which involved eating meals at regular times, scheduled activities, and playtime – my biggest rule being:  put one set of toys away before bringing out a new set.

But these new kids had absolutely no concept of that rule.  And all kind of “Travesuras” (or mischief) ensued.  Destruction was everywhere.  They would pull toys and clothes out of drawers or off shelves and throw them everywhere, without even looking at them!  The walls were colored on, play dough was smushed into the carpet, crumbs on the floor, poop all over the place, nick-knacks broken, stuffed animals’ heads ripped clean off, even electronics destroyed (you wouldn’t believe the toys I found stuffed in the VCR).  I learned that keeping scissors in the van for emergencies was a bad idea too, when one of the seat belts was cut right in half! Leti’s idea of cleaning was foreign to me as well.  I would sometimes come out in the mornings to find the house looking so neat and clean, only to find that everything had been thrown in one big box.  All the puzzle pieces were mixed in together, along with blocks, socks, and rocks.  It’s funny that with all that destruction, my biggest pet peeve was the brand new markers Mica had gotten for Christmas that were thrown in the mix, with the lids off them, all dried out and useless. Leti, herself, nicknamed the brood “Los Tornados.”

Leti eventually found a job for a while, which left me the primary caretaker of the babes.  It took all my imagination to keep them entertained and from going stir-crazy in that house mid-winter.  I turned the living room into a gymnastic play area, with places for them to jump, roll, and tumble.  I turned my bedroom into a dance zone, with disco lights and high-energy Veggie Tales music.  Mica’s room was toy city.  The kitchen table became an arts and craft zone.

I ended up having so much fun with those little ones.  I fell in love with them.  Any time they started to drive me a little crazy, I just looked at the magazine cut-out I had stuck on the wall after one of our craft projects that said, “Jesus Loves the Little Children.”  It was amazing to me that I was able to handle that, even though they only stayed with us for a few months.  I guess God was preparing my heart for what was to come, and at the same time offering a beautiful distraction from the devastation of daddy’s death.

I never imagined that I would one day have my own little brood of “Earthquakers,” but now that I do, I feel blessed beyond belief, regardless of any “travesuras” they come up with.  As always I pray for blessing, protection, and salvation for each of those little ones.  I love you all so much and you’ll be in my heart forever.

Los Tornados 1Los Tornados 7 - Belle, Stephani, EdwinLos Tornados 9 - Edwin dylanLos Tornados 12 - mica grace

Double Talk Quote:  “¿Quieres jugar conmigo?” – Mica, who at the time had not been formally taught Spanish, but picked it up from her cousins.

Verse: Matthew 19:14:  Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Term that had lost its meaning: organized

Relatable Lyrics:  Veggie Tales: “My Day”

“In my bed I start to pray
And tell God all about my day…I had some trouble sharing toys
And during rest time, made some noise
The walls are not for coloring….In my bed so quietly
I rest in knowing
God loves me”

Category:

Cultural Differences, Life With Twins, Uncategorized

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Now, Who’s Responsible for Gum in Grandma’s Hair?

Mica Bella Grace Brooks electronics box gum - edited

Grandma recently had the unfortunate misfortune of innocently sitting down on the bed and leaning back onto the baby-proof padded foam wall lined with poke-a-dots.  She didn’t notice the wad of chewing gum blending into the background until she sat up and felt the unmistakable, sticky, cinnamon scented goop stuck on a very prominent part of her recently cut and straightened hair.

It was easy enough to remove, using the old peanut butter and fine-tooth comb trick. But Who, but who, would have carelessly and irresponsibly stuck gum to the headboard of a bed?  Let’s examine possible suspects:

  1. Bella:  She knows what gum is, can identify and say the word gum, but is not know to try to chew it.  Culpability Probability?  slim-to-none
  2. Brooks:  He’s been know to slip gum from mommy’s “electronic’s box” (box where she keeps her remote controls, phones, camera, and baby monitor, oh, and also gum – all in one place so she can reach it while holding two squirmy 18 month olds), but Brooks is not know to actually spit the gum out, much less stick it to the wall.  Culpability Probability?  possible, but not likely
  3. Mica:  She’s always getting into mommy’s gum but from a young age has always been responsible; spitting it out when done and putting it in the trash can.  Culpability Probability?  doubtful she’s responsible
  4. Hope:  Totally something she would do.  Only one problem:  Although Hope has no problem chowing down on super-spicy Mexican food, she can’t handle mint or cinnamon flavored anything, the taste being too strong.  And since the gum was not fruity flavored…Culpability Probability?  not completely outside the realm of possibility, but almost.
  5. Amor:  As an adult, you’d think he’d know better.  Well, let’s just say, I’ve had a similar issue on his side of the bed.  Problem is, he hasn’t been near the bed recently.  Therefore, Culpability Probability?  maybe 1% chance it was him
  6. Mommy Belle:  The mom who religiously insists on good oral hygiene, makes sure all kids brush well twice a day, has even written a song and blog post about teeth, but who also has a not-so-healthy habit of sneaking a snack (night medicine triggers huger) after finally getting the twins to sleep but then is too afraid of waking them to actually get up to re-brush teeth, so she chews xylitol-laced gum to ease her conscience but still too worried about waking two sleeping toddlers to throw the chewed gum away, sticks it to an innocuous place until morning when she gets a chance to clean it up, but may have forgotten this time…Culpability Probability?  hummm, you know what, it was probably Mr. Nobody.

Double Talk Quote:  “You’re going to grow up to be an awesome person!” – Me to Mica  “Like you!” – Mica to me (be still my heart!)

Verse: “ Take my instruction instead of silver, and knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her.” Proverbs 8:10-11

Term that has Earned its meaning: sticky situation

Relatable Lyrics:  “Weird Al” Yankovic – First World Problems

“Uh, I had to buy something I didn’t even need just
so I could qualify for free shipping on Amazon”

Bella Mica and Brooks with gum

toothbrush ditched for gum

Brooks with gum

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Drum Roll Please, Life With Twins, Uncategorized

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The Doll House

Mica and doll houses a bunch

Money was tight, but we were making ends meet.  Amor was working full time and I was a stay at home mom to Mica, who was about to turn two at the time.  She loved playing with these little miniature dolls, about three to four inches in height.  A doll house would be perfect for her birthday!

I am a thrifter, and by the grace of God, have a talent for finding good deals on used items in good condition.  So I kept my eyes peeled for a good, used doll house.  I started a few months before her birthday but to my surprise, I came up with nothing, zilch, nada.  So I prayed.  “God please give Mica a doll house for her birthday.”  I couldn’t afford to buy one new.

Her birthday arrived and I still hadn’t found anything.

I was driving on a street close to our house, when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a doll house out by the curb, waiting to be collected by the town’s trash pick-up.  It looked good.  Surely something was wrong with it if someone was throwing it out.   I pulled over to check it out.  It was clean, intricate in detail, very big, and foldable.  So I folded it up and took it home.  It had a place for batteries so I put new ones in and the thing actually worked.  The doorbell rang, you could press a button and the lights would come on, open a window and you’d hear birds singing.

So I cleaned and sanitized it, then I explained to Mica that God had given her a birthday gift.  I showed it to her.  She was ecstatic!  She opened the tiny refrigerator door, she lifted the lid to the tiny potty, then she opened the door to the tiny oven.  Inside was a small plate with a monogrammed “M” on it.  “M, for Mica!” I exclaimed.  It was obvious that God had heard my prayer.  He knew the desires of my heart.  He provided like he’d done so often in the past, and as I learned, would also do in the future.

I write a lot about God’s provision.  I guess it’s because he’s been so good and gracious when I deserve it least.  This month our family has had some unexpected expenses arise.  I’m not sure how we are going to balance it out by the end of this month, next month or the next with all we have due and with Christmas coming up.  But I know one thing:  God will provide.

Both babies & Mica love playing outside.  My cousin gave us an awesome swing set / slide / playhouse for free that is perfect for Mica and her friends.  A stranger gave us outdoor equipment that included a slide and swing for the twins.  I found a kiddy slide in the “free” section of a thrift store.  At a yard sale we were given two girl’s vanities, a mini cleaning catty, two baby doll stroller, tons of “Dora” books, and a floor puzzle.  I told Amor, “That just made Bella’s Christmas!”  Again, God’s provision.

In the same spirit of giving, I have been giving away their baby items as they outgrow them, to families in need.  This has been my pledge all along:  Be a blessing and be blessed.  And God continually blesses us.  Thank You, God!

outside  outside 2

(October 22, 2015 –  twins 15 months)

Double Talk Quote: “I want to know if you’re ready to church!” – Amor, meant to say “…go to church”

Bible Verse: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matt 6:33

Word that has Lost its meaning: affordable

Relatable Lyrics:  “He is All We Need” – Highlands Worship

“Carried only by Your grace and mercy God
Though we are undeserving
You called us Your own
Once were orphaned, now we sit at the table of the King”

Category:

Life With Twins, Uncategorized

The “Key” to Letting Things Go

Grandpa & Mica playing cars

Grandpa & Mica playing cars

“Did mama vacuum yesterday?” Daddy had searched all over for a missing key.  We couldn’t leave without the key, he had explained to me, I was about three years old.  “Yes,” I replied.  He took the bag out of the vacuum cleaner, took it outside and dumped it out, and proceeded to sift through the crusty dust, dirt and grime.  No key.”Are you sure mama vacuumed yesterday?”  “Ummm, Maybe that was last week.”  He couldn’t help but laugh.  He laughed then and every time he told that story for years to come.

Daddy liked cars.  Over the years, he’d collected many die-cast toy cars and trucks.  One in particular was quite special, in that, he’d had it since I was a baby and it was actually a bank where you could put coins.  It had a small hook for a tiny key on the bottom of the truck.

Anyone who knew my dad could tell you, he wasn’t a very organized person.  He had a hard time keeping track of things.  But he had kept up with that key, despite all the kids who’d played with it with him.  The most recent child daddy had played cars with was Mica.  She was only two when daddy landed in the Intensive Care Unit of the hospital in the Fall of 2010 with severe pneumonia.  It was touch-and-go.  We didn’t know if he would make it.

For the first few days, the visits were excruciating for everyone involved.  Daddy had a breathing tube, but was conscious.  He could only communicate by pointing at a chart.  The only thing that he was able to make clear was that he was miserable!  Of course we visited but he hated us seeing him like in that condition.

His and my mom’s house was only minutes away from the hospital.  One day after visiting, I stopped by to clean up a little.  As I vacuumed, I saw a tiny, shimmering, silver object from the corner of my eye and then the horrific sound of metal being sucked into the vacuum cleaner.  Of course, the truck was right there.  I checked it:  no key. Shoot, I must have vacuum the key daddy had kept up with for nearly 30 years!  I took the bag out of the vacuum cleaner, took it outside and dumped it out, and proceeded to sift through the crusty dust, dirt and grime.  And what did I find?  A screw.  Not a key but a screw.  I went back in and finished cleaning.  Sure enough, by the time I was done, the key had turned up and I sighed of relief.

The next day, daddy’s health was improving and his breathing tube had been removed.  Trying to make conversation, I told him the story.  As I did, he shook his head.  “Don’t worry about that!”  he said before I even told him it wasn’t the key that had been vacuumed.  “It’s just a thing.  God is number one.  It’s all about loving people. That is what’s important.  Things are just things“

Daddy made a miraculous recovery, then died unexpectedly a few short months later.  All the personal effects he’d left behind, including the simple items as toothbrush, razor, & chap stick, were almost impossible to part with.  They were his and I love him.

I am such a sentimental person.  This one conversation made it possible for me to let go.  Because I know how he felt.  Things are just things.  And no physical earthly thing is more important that loving God and loving one another.

dad-belle-christmas

Double Talk Quote:  “I want to know if you are ready to church” – Amor to Mica (meant to say “…ready to go to church”)

Bible Verse:  Matt 22:37 – 39 “…You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Term that has Lost its meaning:  overly nostalgic

Relatable Lyrics: “Shimmer” by Fuel “we’ll forget the past, Maybe I’m not able. And I break at the bend… ‘Cause I have found All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade Away again”

(Twins 14 months, Mica 7)

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And the moral of the story is..., Uncategorized

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Updates & About

“Take a 10 minute, well deserved break                         & see that you, too, can relate!”

Well, I’ve had this blog for over a year now and those of you who read consistently may have noticed that I have changed a few things around.  I have:

  • Updated my “About” page (See Here)
  • Changed Theme
  • Revamped a few settings
  • Obtained a new (easier to remember) URL:  SuperMommyOfTwins.com, which matches my email address SuperMommyOfTwins@gmail.com
  • I have cards that carry my information that I can pass out to fellow “Moms Of Many” (or any mom, parent of twin, person with mood disorder or relative of person with mood disorders, or relative of someone with twins, really)

My website is not used for commerce.  I don’t sell anything.  I am giving away things here.  My thoughts, my words, my work, my prayers, my time, my ideas, and my energy are worth something.  My prayers are that:

  • with every word that I type, I am leaving a seed in the hearts of those who read it,
  • my writing is inspirational to other moms,
  • I give hope to others who also have mood disorders such as Bipolar disorder or depression,
  • I am pleasing God by obeying and glorifying Him with my writing,
  • this may be a stepping stool to getting “Think Big” cards in print somehow.

So, please see my updated “About” page and feel free to comment here or directly at the above email address.  I’d love your feedback on the site and your thoughts about what I’m trying to accomplish with this blog.

Thanks for reading!

Me & my girls, Magnificent Mica & Beauty Bella

Me & my girls, Magnificent Mica and Beauty Bella

IMG_4075

Me & my Super Son, Brooks

(Twins 13 months, Mica 7)

– S. Michelle Ward Mendoza (aka SuperMommy, aka SuperBelle, aka Belle)

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Life With Twins

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Mommy Praise

2015-06-29 Starla twins

My sister, Starla just returned from a mission’s trip in Peru.  Before she left, I gave her a CD of Christian children’s songs in Spanish.  Seemingly out of the blue, she asked me to translate one of the Sunday school songs that we sing at the Children’s Church where we both serve.  We also often sing it at our small group of moms and kids, called “Baby Praise.”

Baby Praise songs get stuck in your head.  But I love it because they are designed to do just that, get stuck in the heads of the young children we teach each week, and reinforce the message that:

  1. God made me
  2. God loves me &
  3. Jesus wants to be my friend forever

So, I translated the song, “I can do all things” but the Spanish translation was difficult, yet not impossible, to sing with the melody.  You would need to be able to sing the words quickly and with her not being fluent in Spanish, I imagined it would be hard for her to sing that particular one with the kids there.  Over the years that we’ve served together as Sunday School teachers, and worked together babysitting and teaching kids, Starla and I have literally sung hundreds of songs.  I wondered why she chose that one to translate.  On her trip, I also wondered if she would even been able to use it.

Well, Starla’s trip to Peru coincided with my nephew, Asher’s 1st birthday and Grandma’s birthday as well.  Grandma was making her own six hour trip to visit him.  Amor and I wanted to join them all and celebrate together.  Due to financial constraints we weren’t sure we’d be able to pull it off, so I asked a mommy friend at Baby Praise that Thursday to pray that if it was God’s will for us to go, that He would make a way.  And that very afternoon, He did!

But on Friday, just as we were set to leave, baby Brooks spiked a fever.  He was already on his 3rd round of antibiotics for ear infections that just wouldn’t seem to heal.  I took him to the doctor for yet another round of meds and got the “okay” for him to travel.  We still weren’t sure we should go because his fever had been so high.  But by Saturday morning, it was down so we set off.

Unfortunately, right after we left, Brooks decided that he didn’t like taking medication.  (He had had no problems swallowing the liquids before we hit the road).  During our three day trip, his fever returned with a vengeance and I tried every trick in the book to get him to take his antibiotic and Tylenol!

We got the idea to take the kids swimming in the cool pool and it did help bring the fever down.  After a while, the babies got restless and so I left the big girls with Amor and took the twins back to the room with me and gave them a bath.  Alone in the room the stress of the trip started to grind on me.  It didn’t help that the twins were both crying and needing different things at the same moment.  Bella was fussing as I was trying to finish up the bath and Brooks was just crawling around the motel floor crying for me to hurry up and cuddle him.  That’s when the thought crossed my mind, “God, you really thought I could handle all this?”  The answer came in the form of song…

At that moment, the scriptural Baby Praise song came to my remembrance, “I can do all things, my God will help me, I can do all things, God will make me strong.” (Philippians 4:13).  I started singing it out loud as I finished up.  I sang it in English.  I sang it in Spanish.  I sang it until both babies were settled and cuddling.

Starla didn’t end up using the song in Peru.  But her having me translate it, put it in my heart and God brought it back to my mind at just the right time.

Starla with Bella dressed in Authentic Peruvian Garb!

Starla with Bella dressed in Authentic Peruvian Garb!

(Update on Brooks – had tubes put in his ears and infection has since cleared, praise God!)

Double Talk Quote:  “Hit the road?  OK!” – Mica reaches down and literally hits the road with her hand (smarty)

Term that has Lost its meaning:  traveling light

Bible Verse:  “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”  Philippians 4:13 (Again)

Relatable Lyrics:  “I Can Do All Things” (Amber Sky Records)  “I may be small, but God is so powerful”

Puedo hacer todas las cosas
Mi Dios me ayudará
Puedo hacer todas las cosas
Dios me hará fuerte

Ayudando a mi mamá
Obedeciendo a mi papá
Puedo hacer cualquier cosa
Compartiendo mis juguetes
Abrazando a mis amigos
Puedo hacer cualquier cosa
Diciendo la verdad
Diciendo ” Gracias”
Puedo hacer cualquier cosa

Tal vez soy pequeño
Pero Dios es tan poderoso

 

Category:

Life With Twins, Uncategorized

The Numbers

2015-08-06 upset earthquakers 1

I have 13 opened, unfinished wordpress drafts.  That doesn’t include “Article / Post Ideas” draft. So why haven’t I posted in over two weeks?  Well, I’ve been slammed.  Here are some numbers:

  • I took 4 kids on an 8 hour trip (1 way) for 3 days, 1 of whom became very sick.
  • We celebrated 2 birthdays in 2 days, and have and/or will celebrate them again in a different location this month (Happy Birthday Asher and Grandma!)
  • I’ve taken 2 kids to 2 hospitals in 2 days (they are both healing well, thanks for prayers)
  • I have 2 new walkers!  The toddler stage has begun.
  • We’ve had 17 appointments over the past 2 weeks (that does NOT include play-dates).
  • I’ve changed bipolar medication.  The dosage has been adjusted as well.  There *may* be some rapid cycling going on.
  • My husband has about 15 (million)projects of his own going on, all far more important than mine.  If you know him, enough said.
  • My sister, Starla, who helps me tremendously, went or is going on 2 missions trips, 1 out of the country for over 1 week. (God bless her)
  • Even as I type this 1 baby is banging on my computer, the other just took 4 steps (the most I’ve seen him take at one time).
  • My church is “fasting” for 21 days, so I haven’t been on babycenter.com (the place I usually go online to unwind, I’ve been trying to pray more instead).
  • 2 kids eat like monsters and 2 eat like birds.  Mealtime is crazy.  I used to have to worry about feeding myself and Mica.  Now it’s 3 squares a day for 6 people.
  • The twins have changed their napping schedules.  Bella is down to 1 mid-day nap, but Brooks is still at 2, much shorter naps twice daily (at a different time than Bella, of course).
  • I have 2 computers that 1/2 work
  • I have 3 phones – a smart phone that doesn’t get service (used for calender and camera), a dumb phone that always runs out of minutes (but at least I can text) and a missing house phone.
  • I have 3 brand new universal remote controls that all needed to be programmed (but praise God, I don’t have to get up to turn the tv off or be stuck watching “Paternity Court” because the babies fell asleep on me and my old dysfunctional controls wouldn’t work right)
  • 12:  That’s how many scissors I must own to at least be able to find 1 pair.
  • 2 :  That’s how many hours-worth of baby proofing I’d estimate has come completely undone in the last 10 minutes.  (But that’s okay, I’ll try again later)
Baby-proofing gone awry

Baby-proofing gone awry

Double Talk Quote: “If you don’t know where something goes, put it in the pumpkin” – Mica telling Hope how to clean while she didn’t know I was listening.

Word that has Lost its meaning:  baby-proof

Relatable Lyrics: “Help” by The Beatles

“When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody’s help in any way… And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,  My independence seems to vanish in the haze…”

Bible Verse:  “Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered…”  Luke 12:7

Upset Earthquakers: Brooks leaving!

Upset Earthquakers: Brooks leaving!

Bella following suit!

Bella following suit

*** Thank you Dyane Leshin-Harwood from “Birth of a New Brain” for inspiring me to write today, despite all this chaos!***

0:  time left for proof-reading – sorry in advance

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Life With Twins

Mom on a Mission

2015-07-13 earthquakers mica and twins

“So what do you feel is your purpose in life?” ask my small group leader. I was timid to answer. It was March, 2011 and this was one of the first groups I’d ever had and I didn’t feel very comfortable opening up.

Unsure of how I might be perceived and feeling a bit embarrassed to be unemployed, I answered, “Right now, I feel like my main mission is to raise this little one up right.”  I felt the anointing.  Mica was not quite 3 years old.  I had no idea if I had plans for more children of my own in the future.

Just the year before I had obtained teaching qualifications in my state to become an ESOL instructor (teaching English) .  I had also applied for over 30 other jobs, all of which I was qualified.  I have two degrees, but have never officially worked in a paid position within the fields of my studies.  Bipolar disorder had interrupted my life significantly, leaving holes in my work history that made it hard for me to explain away on a resume.  With the disease under control in 2010, I had determined to become gainfully employed.

But then Christmas happened.  My father overdosed and died.

I tried keep it together, for Mica’s sake.  My in-laws also had some issues around this time, and my sister-in-law and her 3 kids moved in with us within weeks of his passing.

I had stopped looking for a job.  My grief was often left unsatisfied, postponed, and unattended, as children filled my room, life and heart.  They were a handful but a beautiful distraction from the open wound my dad’s passing had created.  My sister, who had been planning her wedding for a year would be walking down the isle with our mom by her side later that very month.

A lot of destabilization and disaster followed.  A lot of turmoil, a lot of tests, all leading to testimonies.

Little did I know, as I answered that question, that motherhood, not a traditional career, was and would become even more, my main mission.  If I never see anything, despite all my efforts, to change this world, to make it a better place, to bring people to God, I know I have made a difference.  Because I am raising a future generation, instilling values that are time-tested and true.  I am making Christ-followers right here in my own home.  I am bringing up little earth-quakers.  They are my legacy.

(July 21, 2015 – Twins 12 months, Mica 7, Hope 6)

Double Talk Quote: “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” – June Cleaver

Word that has Lost its meaning:  lost

Relatable Lyrics:  Stuck In A Moment by U2

Bible Verse: Romans 12:12

Romans 12-12

 

2015-07-19 bella and flower gladiolis

Bella

Hope & Mica

Hope & Mica

Brooks

Brooks

Disco!

Disco!

Category:

Bipolar Mommy, Life With Twins, Uncategorized

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